Dear Diary,
So today I had the recently forgotten feeling of anticipation when I hit the scale. Its not like I haven't been weighing in lately, but it was usually with a feeling of dread. I knew I wasn't doing much to get me where I wanted to be, but I had to check anyway. When I got on this morning I had expectations. And why the f*** shouldn't I have had them? I rode the bike 30 miles last night in two hours while watching Dexter and the boys from SAMCRO. I ate decent yesterday. Avoided cake that was calling my name. Huh? You've never heard of a talking cake? Well, who the f*** has heard of a talking diary? Hello!! Why aren't you saying anything a**hole? Oh s**t...
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
November 29, Day 267, 232.0 lbs, 30% bf
Dear Diary,
Yeah I know. I said nothing for two weeks and then I'm back twice in 8 hours. I need to get back on my grind. That's gonna require discipline. And a schedule. Sooo... Here I am. Huh? Nope. Nothing new has happened. Well I did a few push ups and there was another weigh in. Lost a couple ounces. Can't complain about that. S**t. You should have seen that carrot cake. I'm surprised I escaped with my life. Since I did, I'm gonna take that life and work the s**t out of it. Huh? You're an a**hole. Work out your own s**t.
Yeah I know. I said nothing for two weeks and then I'm back twice in 8 hours. I need to get back on my grind. That's gonna require discipline. And a schedule. Sooo... Here I am. Huh? Nope. Nothing new has happened. Well I did a few push ups and there was another weigh in. Lost a couple ounces. Can't complain about that. S**t. You should have seen that carrot cake. I'm surprised I escaped with my life. Since I did, I'm gonna take that life and work the s**t out of it. Huh? You're an a**hole. Work out your own s**t.
Monday, November 28, 2011
November 28, Day 266, 232.2 lbs, 31% bf
Dear Diary,
What's up b***h? Huh? Oh. Its me. Mike. Don't try to get all brand new on me. You know who the f*** I am. Uh, yeah. I've been gone for a minute. Two weeks to be exact. Yeah, I could have called but I was busy. I wish I could say that I did something worthwhile with my time, but I don't think its true. Mostly its been a blur of Call of Duty, Turkey, Sweet Potato pie and the random workout. I used to look forward to the workout to close out the day. I still look forward to it, but I don't make sure that I get it in. Its no longer the priority that it was. Kinda like your punk a**. I figured that I could do this without you since I had run into a wall. I was gonna come back and tell you of all of the wonderful things I did without you and how I didn't need your help to meet my goals. The truth is I didn't do much and I do need your help. As worthless as it is. Sometimes bouncing s**t off of you is a good thing. I'll get an epiphany like House every once in a while and get something I need to solve my problem and keep it pushing. Its not your fault that I stopped pushing when I hit the wall. Its not your fault the wall is there. F***, its not even your fault that I can't find my way around it. Its also not your fault that I decided to eat cake and sit on my fat a** while I was waiting for the wall to disappear.. Huh? Ok fine lots of cake. I figure today was emblematic of my recent dilemmas. I had fruit and coffee for breakfast. No big deal there. But for lunch I had a big f***in hunk of carrot cake after eating a salad and some salmon. And before you get started, there were lots of carrots in there. I'd honestly say that I got a days worth of vegetables in there, but it was still a stupid thing to do. So I'm just not gonna do it tomorrow. But I'm not gonna lie. It'll be hard. Its the small f*** ups on an otherwise spotless day that seem to kill me. It probably wouldn't matter if I got my lazy a** on the bike, but I haven't. At least not as regularly as I had before. I feel like that fat guy inside of me is screwing me. Huh? Why would I have to say 'no homo' after that? I don't get it. Just let me finish. Damn. TLO is starting to get in little jabs about my inactivity and sweet tooth. Can't have that s**t, but the temptation to eat s**tty and do nothing to remedy it are really strong. I wish my desire to get past this bulls**t was that much stronger.
PS. It is.
PSS. All that s**t earlier was your fault. I f***ing hate you.
What's up b***h? Huh? Oh. Its me. Mike. Don't try to get all brand new on me. You know who the f*** I am. Uh, yeah. I've been gone for a minute. Two weeks to be exact. Yeah, I could have called but I was busy. I wish I could say that I did something worthwhile with my time, but I don't think its true. Mostly its been a blur of Call of Duty, Turkey, Sweet Potato pie and the random workout. I used to look forward to the workout to close out the day. I still look forward to it, but I don't make sure that I get it in. Its no longer the priority that it was. Kinda like your punk a**. I figured that I could do this without you since I had run into a wall. I was gonna come back and tell you of all of the wonderful things I did without you and how I didn't need your help to meet my goals. The truth is I didn't do much and I do need your help. As worthless as it is. Sometimes bouncing s**t off of you is a good thing. I'll get an epiphany like House every once in a while and get something I need to solve my problem and keep it pushing. Its not your fault that I stopped pushing when I hit the wall. Its not your fault the wall is there. F***, its not even your fault that I can't find my way around it. Its also not your fault that I decided to eat cake and sit on my fat a** while I was waiting for the wall to disappear.. Huh? Ok fine lots of cake. I figure today was emblematic of my recent dilemmas. I had fruit and coffee for breakfast. No big deal there. But for lunch I had a big f***in hunk of carrot cake after eating a salad and some salmon. And before you get started, there were lots of carrots in there. I'd honestly say that I got a days worth of vegetables in there, but it was still a stupid thing to do. So I'm just not gonna do it tomorrow. But I'm not gonna lie. It'll be hard. Its the small f*** ups on an otherwise spotless day that seem to kill me. It probably wouldn't matter if I got my lazy a** on the bike, but I haven't. At least not as regularly as I had before. I feel like that fat guy inside of me is screwing me. Huh? Why would I have to say 'no homo' after that? I don't get it. Just let me finish. Damn. TLO is starting to get in little jabs about my inactivity and sweet tooth. Can't have that s**t, but the temptation to eat s**tty and do nothing to remedy it are really strong. I wish my desire to get past this bulls**t was that much stronger.
PS. It is.
PSS. All that s**t earlier was your fault. I f***ing hate you.
Monday, November 14, 2011
November 14, Day 252, 230.0 lbs, 34% bf
Dear Diary,
So my newly realized blessings arrived yesterday, but they didn't bring much in the area of will power. I finished off my donuts yesterday with the help of the little people. The better part was what I chose to eat for the rest of the day. I went to pick up some grilled chicken and sides from Albertsons. Got a early afternoon dinner in and then coasted through the rest of the day playing with the kids and washing clothes. No exercise still. Gotta fix that. I'm pretty sure I can't do it without exercise and I know that I can't get though this struggle alone. Huh? F*** naw!!! You don't count. I'm not going to pray to you; however, I will prey on you. Now shut the f*** up.
So my newly realized blessings arrived yesterday, but they didn't bring much in the area of will power. I finished off my donuts yesterday with the help of the little people. The better part was what I chose to eat for the rest of the day. I went to pick up some grilled chicken and sides from Albertsons. Got a early afternoon dinner in and then coasted through the rest of the day playing with the kids and washing clothes. No exercise still. Gotta fix that. I'm pretty sure I can't do it without exercise and I know that I can't get though this struggle alone. Huh? F*** naw!!! You don't count. I'm not going to pray to you; however, I will prey on you. Now shut the f*** up.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
November 13, Day 251, 231.4 lbs, 32% bf
Dear Diary,
I was gonna give up on my goals. I had no fight left in me. I engaged in what I knew were self destructive behaviors yesterday. I did not exercise. I ate donuts and pizza and drank soda and played video games and watched TV while sitting on my a**. I was expecting to weigh in at 235 this morning. Thank goodness I didn't. There was virtually no increase from the Saturday morning weigh in. Then I got blessed at church. I realized that I've worked too hard and come too far to give up now. I expect to be successful. I've got some fight left in me. Consequently, I've got some pizza and donuts left in my kitchen.
I was gonna give up on my goals. I had no fight left in me. I engaged in what I knew were self destructive behaviors yesterday. I did not exercise. I ate donuts and pizza and drank soda and played video games and watched TV while sitting on my a**. I was expecting to weigh in at 235 this morning. Thank goodness I didn't. There was virtually no increase from the Saturday morning weigh in. Then I got blessed at church. I realized that I've worked too hard and come too far to give up now. I expect to be successful. I've got some fight left in me. Consequently, I've got some pizza and donuts left in my kitchen.
Friday, November 11, 2011
November 11, Day 249, 230.2 lbs, 27% bf
Dear Diary,
Had company at the house last night watching the game. Made no effort to exercise. Just cleaned up after the kiddos and stayed away from the bag of M&Ms that infiltrated my office the previous night. Lost weight. I need more nights like that in my future. Just the weight loss part. I have grown to enjoy exercise. Still not grown accustomed to your b***h a** though.
Had company at the house last night watching the game. Made no effort to exercise. Just cleaned up after the kiddos and stayed away from the bag of M&Ms that infiltrated my office the previous night. Lost weight. I need more nights like that in my future. Just the weight loss part. I have grown to enjoy exercise. Still not grown accustomed to your b***h a** though.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
November 10, Day 248, 231.8 lbs, 28.5% bf
Dear Diary,
Uh. Yeah. F***. Didn't see that coming. I feel bloated and any sign of a coming 6 pack is gone. I'm sure it's temporary, but I've got to find a way to divorce my attitude from my weight. It's an inverse relationship. Huh? No I didn't mean perverse you a**.
Uh. Yeah. F***. Didn't see that coming. I feel bloated and any sign of a coming 6 pack is gone. I'm sure it's temporary, but I've got to find a way to divorce my attitude from my weight. It's an inverse relationship. Huh? No I didn't mean perverse you a**.
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