Dear Diary,
I am officially fat again. Huh? Well I don't know if I was ever unfat, but I had made so much progress. Even though I wasn't talking to you and don't get me started on that, it was your fault a**hole, I was keeping track of my weight. In this calendar year I have not weighed less than 230. And I haven't been in the 220's for over a year since the surgery. I wish I could blame it on my thyroid, or lack thereof, but I can't. My numbers are right. Huh? No I'm not talking about my weight. You are still as stupid as you were last year. But I'm not as light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relatively speaking. I figured I'd rededicate myself after I saw the scale hit 246.6, but the holidays hit and I did what I do best. Eat. And sit. I got worse. I gotta get better. I need to try to end this year the way I rang it in. No! And for the last time I would never sit in a pool of my own vomit. Not someone else's either. You can be such a f***ing jerk. I need to end this year in the 230's. After all the success I had in 2011, I'd have to say 2012 was a f***ing disaster, and it was all my fault. I wish I could blame it on the Mayans. F*** you and them.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
November 13, 245.0 lbs
Dear Diary,
Ok. One day down, the rest of my f**king life to go. Yesterday wasn't too tough. Huh? No. That's not some sort of code. The turkey wings were just fine. And don't start making jokes about the wings flying off the plate or I'll... Wow. You really did that huh? Well let me tell you what I did. More house crap. But that house crap included getting my weight bench set up. Huh? Of course not. Who had the time to lift weights after all that. I'm headed in the right direction though. B***h.
Ok. One day down, the rest of my f**king life to go. Yesterday wasn't too tough. Huh? No. That's not some sort of code. The turkey wings were just fine. And don't start making jokes about the wings flying off the plate or I'll... Wow. You really did that huh? Well let me tell you what I did. More house crap. But that house crap included getting my weight bench set up. Huh? Of course not. Who had the time to lift weights after all that. I'm headed in the right direction though. B***h.
Monday, November 12, 2012
November 12, 246.6 lbs
Dear Diary,
What's up? Guess what I don't care. It's still all about me. The problem is there is a lot more of me than when we last spoke. I've been on a bad path for a while. I think it goes back to us putting our house on the market and me focusing on moving and finding a new place. Then we sold the house, bought a new one and moved. Then my focus was on getting settled in. Surprisingly at that point my focus was on anything but me. I had my family and their comfort to worry about. I didn't have time to worry about me being comforted by food and junk. I could always workout is what I told myself. I just never did it. Things had changed from what they were just a few months before. My address. My good habits. My weight. My scale. Huh? Yeah f**k him. He's been replaced. You better watch your a** cause you could be next. What didn't change is my boy telling the truth. Just the other day he said he wanted to be fat when he got older. It didn't take a lot to figure out that he was saying he wanted to be like me. Huh? No a** hole. That's not sweet. It's a damned shame. My kid should want to be chiseled and smart and good looking like his dad. Hold on! Don't you f**king interrupt me unless you're gonna say I've got 2 of the 3 down. Oh. So now you have nothing to say huh?
What's up? Guess what I don't care. It's still all about me. The problem is there is a lot more of me than when we last spoke. I've been on a bad path for a while. I think it goes back to us putting our house on the market and me focusing on moving and finding a new place. Then we sold the house, bought a new one and moved. Then my focus was on getting settled in. Surprisingly at that point my focus was on anything but me. I had my family and their comfort to worry about. I didn't have time to worry about me being comforted by food and junk. I could always workout is what I told myself. I just never did it. Things had changed from what they were just a few months before. My address. My good habits. My weight. My scale. Huh? Yeah f**k him. He's been replaced. You better watch your a** cause you could be next. What didn't change is my boy telling the truth. Just the other day he said he wanted to be fat when he got older. It didn't take a lot to figure out that he was saying he wanted to be like me. Huh? No a** hole. That's not sweet. It's a damned shame. My kid should want to be chiseled and smart and good looking like his dad. Hold on! Don't you f**king interrupt me unless you're gonna say I've got 2 of the 3 down. Oh. So now you have nothing to say huh?
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
June 19, Day 22, 242.0 lbs
Dear Diary,
Happy Juneteenth! Freedom from slavery is a wonderful thing. I'm trying to be free from the crap that shackles me. Its getting pretty annoying to work my a** off (and before you ask, no, not literally) all week and then end up in the same place or worse after a brief f*** up. I feel like I work all week to escape from the plantation, but I keep getting tracked down and put right back in my chains. And don't get me wrong, though I'd love to blame this one you, I know this is my own doing. I also know I'm the only that can set me free. Huh? No. I am not the master of my own domain. Thats something else entirely. And yeah, actually I am.
Happy Juneteenth! Freedom from slavery is a wonderful thing. I'm trying to be free from the crap that shackles me. Its getting pretty annoying to work my a** off (and before you ask, no, not literally) all week and then end up in the same place or worse after a brief f*** up. I feel like I work all week to escape from the plantation, but I keep getting tracked down and put right back in my chains. And don't get me wrong, though I'd love to blame this one you, I know this is my own doing. I also know I'm the only that can set me free. Huh? No. I am not the master of my own domain. Thats something else entirely. And yeah, actually I am.
Monday, June 18, 2012
June 18, Day 21, 242.6 lbs
Dear Diary,
So three weeks in to my comeback I weigh more than when I started. I haven't even compared this to last year, but this sucks even compared to last week. I spent this past weekend hanging with some buddies drinking, smoking cigars, talking s**t and eating. Yeah, I know. The f***ing life. But life isn't grand when it causes you to tip the scales like this. I'm still on the workout tip, but I have to hit it harder. I'm convinced that my body is working against me right now with all of the cravings and the retaining of the crap I put into it. I didn't mean for that s**t to stay! That whole junk in junk out saying doesn't really apply to diets. F***ing charcuterie.
So three weeks in to my comeback I weigh more than when I started. I haven't even compared this to last year, but this sucks even compared to last week. I spent this past weekend hanging with some buddies drinking, smoking cigars, talking s**t and eating. Yeah, I know. The f***ing life. But life isn't grand when it causes you to tip the scales like this. I'm still on the workout tip, but I have to hit it harder. I'm convinced that my body is working against me right now with all of the cravings and the retaining of the crap I put into it. I didn't mean for that s**t to stay! That whole junk in junk out saying doesn't really apply to diets. F***ing charcuterie.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
June 14, Day 17, 240.8 lbs
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was my first day of eating and no kind of exercise in a while, and I paid for it. Huh. Yeah a**. I always pay for my meals. I was talking figuratively. Huh? No, I'm actually talking. Figuratively is... You know what? Shut the f*** up idiot. I'd stuff a crepe in your mouth if you had one. Hell if I had one for that matter. Huh? No a**hole. I had a mouth. I'm talking about a crepe. I do see how that could be confusing, but damn. You remain an idiot. I guess I could be an idiot myself, but I'm not. You are an idiot because you do idiotic things. I on the other hand make smart decisions because I can see the desired outcome of them. I knew that eating that crepe carbona and the bolero last night was gonna tip the scales, so no surprise there. I did it anyway; even though I knew I wasn't gonna get a work out in. Huh? Yeah. That does sound pretty idiotic. F***.
Yesterday was my first day of eating and no kind of exercise in a while, and I paid for it. Huh. Yeah a**. I always pay for my meals. I was talking figuratively. Huh? No, I'm actually talking. Figuratively is... You know what? Shut the f*** up idiot. I'd stuff a crepe in your mouth if you had one. Hell if I had one for that matter. Huh? No a**hole. I had a mouth. I'm talking about a crepe. I do see how that could be confusing, but damn. You remain an idiot. I guess I could be an idiot myself, but I'm not. You are an idiot because you do idiotic things. I on the other hand make smart decisions because I can see the desired outcome of them. I knew that eating that crepe carbona and the bolero last night was gonna tip the scales, so no surprise there. I did it anyway; even though I knew I wasn't gonna get a work out in. Huh? Yeah. That does sound pretty idiotic. F***.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
June 12, Day 15, 238.8 lbs
Dear Diary,
I f***ing hate treadmills. It's like you're going nowhere fast. Running in place is a waste of f***ing time. Huh? Ok fine it can help you lose weight, but it feels like I'm not going anywhere. Huh? Well yeah I know thats the point, but...f***k you. I wasn't on a treadmill anyway. My point is that my weight loss feels like a treadmill. I'm doing a bunch of s**t but not getting anywhere. Just spinning my damn wheels. I know that if I get to a place where I can gain some traction I'm gonna take off, but until then I guess I'll just stay here and insult you. F***ing douchebag.
I f***ing hate treadmills. It's like you're going nowhere fast. Running in place is a waste of f***ing time. Huh? Ok fine it can help you lose weight, but it feels like I'm not going anywhere. Huh? Well yeah I know thats the point, but...f***k you. I wasn't on a treadmill anyway. My point is that my weight loss feels like a treadmill. I'm doing a bunch of s**t but not getting anywhere. Just spinning my damn wheels. I know that if I get to a place where I can gain some traction I'm gonna take off, but until then I guess I'll just stay here and insult you. F***ing douchebag.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)