November 24, 2015, 262 lbs

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

To go over everything

They say a diets supposed to help ya lose, but I ain't done much losing

Hello, can you hear me?

I'm in California dreaming about what I used to eat

When I was young and skinny

I've forgotten how it felt without a scale 'neath my feet

There's such a difference between us

And a million pounds

Hello from the fatter side

I must've ate  a thousand pies

I'd  tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've ate

But when I visit you lie and say I look great

Hello from the fatside

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry for eating all of your crumbs

But it don't matter, it doesn't tear you apart

And I numb

Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry

But it is, my diary

Did you ever make it out of that town where all the food was fatty?

It's no secret that the both of us

Are gaining pounds

So hello from the fatter side

I must've chewed a billion fries

I'd tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've consumed

But when I call you'd never admit that I'm doomed

Hello from the fatside

At least I can say that I've cried

Because  I was sorry for eating all of that s**t

But it don't matter, because I did that s**t

Again, foooood

And again, foooood

And again, foooood

And again, and again 

Hello from the fatter side

I want some sweet potato pies

But not no patti pies, because they don't taste good

But they way that dudes sanging you'd really think that they would

Hello from the fatside

At least I can say that I've tried

I'd tell you I'm sorry, but I don't think I am

Cause it don't matter, and I don't give a damn

Anymore

November 16, 2015, 262.5 lbs

Dear Diary, 

Did my first race since May this weekend and boy did it suck like a Hoover. It had lots of big a** hills. At one point as I was trying to make it up the biggest one a cop looked at me and said "it's only a little hill." Huh? Yup that's exactly what I thought! ...but, I'm a big a** man... Hell no I didn't say it. I was tired. Not enough oxygen was getting to the brain and I might have said something to get me arrested. Huh? Yeah that might have at least got me a ride off of that hill and straight to jail. You have a point. Now take that point and shove it up your a** you dumb f**k. 

November 13, 2015, 262.7 lbs

Dear Diary,

It's Friday the 13th and the bad luck has already started. I hit the scale and see an increase. And that's after f**king around and walking 6 miles yesterday during work. Huh? Nope. Don't need your congratulations. It wasn't the most grueling workout but I put some miles on the books on a morning that I had to leave so early that I couldn't get in a regular workout. I was happy with it and I was going to refuse the donuts that my boss was bringing out. That was until I got back and saw the box featuring the maple bar. It's pretty easy having will power when that thing tempting you isn't in your face. Huh? F**k you. I'll punch you in your face. Man, I really have to work on my temper. Haha, yes, good one. On my weight as well. You're such an a**hole. I wonder if kicking your a** would burn any calories...

November 11, 2015, 262.2 lbs

Dear Diary,

I suck. I've basically gained all the weight back. I don't call it my weight because I don't want to own it. Huh? Well kinda. I'm taking responsibility for it, even though you and I both know it's your fault. You haven't been there for me. But donuts have. They've comforted me even when I haven't wanted them to. And when they could be there they cared enough to make sure that cakes and cookies were there in their stead. I know. I know. I should have run out of excuses by now, but I haven't. The excuses are still here but the running isn't. I tried going for a couple of miles this morning and couldn't get through it like I used to. Huh? Important thing is that I tried?!? What kind of fake inspirational s**t is that? You know what I don't suck. You suck! Actually...Yeah you're right. It is an important first step that I tried I made an effort. You know they say the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. And while I don't plan on eating an elephant anytime soon, those donuts are looking pretty damned tast... Oh f**k. I gotta break this sugar addiction.