November 24, 2015, 262 lbs

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

To go over everything

They say a diets supposed to help ya lose, but I ain't done much losing

Hello, can you hear me?

I'm in California dreaming about what I used to eat

When I was young and skinny

I've forgotten how it felt without a scale 'neath my feet

There's such a difference between us

And a million pounds

Hello from the fatter side

I must've ate  a thousand pies

I'd  tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've ate

But when I visit you lie and say I look great

Hello from the fatside

At least I can say that I've tried

To tell you I'm sorry for eating all of your crumbs

But it don't matter, it doesn't tear you apart

And I numb

Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry

But it is, my diary

Did you ever make it out of that town where all the food was fatty?

It's no secret that the both of us

Are gaining pounds

So hello from the fatter side

I must've chewed a billion fries

I'd tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've consumed

But when I call you'd never admit that I'm doomed

Hello from the fatside

At least I can say that I've cried

Because  I was sorry for eating all of that s**t

But it don't matter, because I did that s**t

Again, foooood

And again, foooood

And again, foooood

And again, and again 

Hello from the fatter side

I want some sweet potato pies

But not no patti pies, because they don't taste good

But they way that dudes sanging you'd really think that they would

Hello from the fatside

At least I can say that I've tried

I'd tell you I'm sorry, but I don't think I am

Cause it don't matter, and I don't give a damn

Anymore