July 7, Day 122, 237.6 lbs, 33.5% bf

Dear Diary,
All is clear. Not that you care or even know what I'm talking about. I went to the doctor to get a good looking at to make sure the golf club did no real damage. The doctor did a CT scan and found nothing. No I mean they literally found nothing between my ears. Amazing that I've functioned this long. Oh really? You knew that all along? F*** you. You can easily be replaced. I'll buy another diary in a minute. Badtz Maru this time. No more Hello Kitty for me. Speaking of buying something new, I picked up a bike that I've had my eye on for a bit. I first saw it in the parking lot at Costco and fell in love with it. Did some searching and found it. Now it wont replace the exercise bike like a dirty, half used post it note would serve as a more than acceptable replacement for you, but it will compliment the time I spend with the EBG. I took The General out for a spin last night. My first thought was WTF. I hadn't ridden a real bike in so long I forgot the feel of those things. I forgot that you actually have to pedal hard enough to propel your actual weight. You have to turn, go up hills, come down hills and actually use brakes. There is wind and all kind of crap you need to deal with. And though I pedaled my a** off the whole time I rode, I couldn't match the pace, distance or total time I usually get in the garage. Plus the whole lack of a TV to watch while I rode was a real downer. But I loved it. Time to take it to the beach. I'm gonna ride with TLO. And the kids. And Katy Stine. The EBG  RBG (Real Bike Gang. You know you're dumb. And I'm supposed to be the one without a brain) will ride! I was gonna say again, but we've never rode as a gang before. I think I'm gonna need a new logo.
PS. You can't come.

My two bikes...

July 6, Day 121, 237.2 lbs, 34.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Today, I have more in common with Tiger Woods. Would you like to take a guess? Cool, go. Ok yeah, both of us like red shirts. Yup we both are also named after big cats. And yes, we both love the ladies. That gets you a little closer to our new thing in common. Nope. I've never won a major. You know that a**hole. You'll never guess so I'll just tell you. We both got hit upside the head with golf clubs. Huh? That's what you were gonna say? Damn. Before you ask it had nothing to do with the ladies and it wasn't TLO. You're good though. But I don't care. I think the give a f*** part of my mind has been damaged, if it ever existed. All I was trying to do was get in some exercise on the course yesterday. I got it and I learned a lesson. Never stand behind someone holding a golf club. At least I got some lunch out of it. Actually, I probably would have gotten the lunch anyway. Catfish from Johnny Rebs. Excellent as usual, but it was enough to eat for both lunch and dinner. So I did. But to tell the truth, I'd rather have paid for lunch and not taken the blow to the head. But, it was my fault. Huh? You've been waiting to hear me say those words? Well, I could have a pocket full of f***s and I still wouldn't give one. Now go f*** yourself before I demonstrate how it happened on you.

July 5, Day 120, 237.6 lbs, 36% bf

Dear Diary,
Yesterday I did sit ups, push ups, jumped rope, watched American Chopper and ate low fat ice cream with the family. What did you do? Nothing? You know why? Because people hate you. Catch you later...

July 4, Day 119, 238.4 lbs, 36% bf

Dear Diary, 
Went out last night with TLO and some friends to see a comedy show, which was great because I could use a laugh. Huh? Well yeah, I do laugh AT you, but generally not with you, but who could blame me. You're a silly little a** hole. Yeah, I get it. I'm a big a**hole. Some have even said I'm the whole a**. But in my defense, I'd say that I'm much less of an a**hole, because there is much less of me than there was awhile ago, which is a great thing. Another great thing is the occasional slice of cheesecake. It's even better when it's free. After having some free cheesecake last night, I felt little guilt since I had eaten well and exercised some for the day. But, I also felt the  need to do some middle of the night sit ups that had nothing to do with guilt, and everything with responsibility. I like that feeling. Before I never felt responsible for keeping myself healthy or in shape. I do now and it shapes how I do everything. And I mean everything. I feel a responsibility to treat you like s**t. Kinda like you look. No I don't look like s**t. I just used to. I looked back at some pics I took over a year ago, before I got as bad as I ultimately became. I did some comparison shots and the difference was as huge as I was in the original shots. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go, but I see a huge difference. The hot dog on the back of my head has even gone down. Speaking of hot dogs, it's the 4th of July, so it's time to eat some. Gotta go b***h! If you f*** with me today, I'm gonna put another M80 in your cover and tape you shut. Again. 

July 3, Day 118, 238.2 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary, 
Ahhh. Sunday morning. Sun shining. Birds chirping. I'm below 240 again. Seems like all is right with the world. I stayed active yesterday. A couple of rides with the EBG. Did a little swimming. Did a lot of eating, but decent stuff. TLO hooked up the grill yesterday and made me some fish. Put that down amongst other things including a couple of biscuits from KFC. Had the 43rd best moscato in the greater Gardena area. How much did it cost? What kind of question is that? As far as I'm concerned it was free.99. Now shut the f*** up. Where was I? Oh yeah. Caught a good nights rest and got in a short workout this morning. I'm feeling good and looking forward to having a wonderful day and working off more of this weight. Nothing could ruin this for me. Peac... F***, its hot. I didn't think black people got sun burn. What kinda s**t is this? Oh no! What the f*** is that? Is that a f***ing pigeon s**tting on my car.  You piece of s**t sky rat. Get the f*** away from here.  Oh yeah, sorry... I just hate those things. They remind me of... Well...they remind me of you. Annoying little a**holes, that spread s**t everywhere. Speaking of spreading s**t, can you rub this on my back? What the f*** does SPF mean anyway? Thanks. So where was I? Oh yeah. Have a great day buddy!

July 2, Day 117 , 240.4 lbs, 36.5% bf

Dear Diary, 

I need a f***in win. This is getting depressing. I know that I said I wouldn't get depressed over this just yesterday, but f***. What is this, the third or fourth day without any decrease? And it's happening no matter what I do. I ate right yesterday. Subway breakfast sandwich with egg whites and vegetables, salmon and brown rice for lunch, and some chicken pho for dinner. Well maybe the pho was kinda right. It was good going down, but those noodles must have started expanding and I felt like I just drank a gallon of water. The itis was setting in, but I got up and rode the bike for 12 miles. I fell asleep and hopped right back on for another 8 miles first thing this morning. I'd have gone more, but the baby got to me. Starvation is not the answer, but food is the last thing I want to think about now and at this very moment TLO is talking to me about making a cake. Now shes talking about all of the restaurants that are gonna be close to our hotel when we get to Hawaii. After what happened with just a few days in Vegas, I'm worried about all kinds of vacation eating. And that shouldn't be the case. Aww s**t. Now she's talking about food for some potluck that I'll be lucky to survive. This feels like a comedy of errors.  Huh? I appreciate the encouragement, but I don't care how far I've come from the start. I care about how this last week has been a complete clusterf**k. I usually think of my life as a TV show and if I keep that thought going I may be ok. The show starts off kinda laying out the issue.  The TV show goes on to show progress being made in resolving said issue and that things are going well. Then all the sudden the f***in bottom falls out. That's with about 10 minutes left in the hour. The last few minutes usually have things wrapping up nicely, unless the episode is to be continued and you are left in a f***ed up position until next week. And don't let it be a season finale. You can be screwed for months. Well, my issue is that I was getting way too fat. I made some progress and gotten rid of the 'way'. Currently I'm just too fat. And now the bottom is falling out. I'm definitely not winning now. I feel like a loser, and not the weight loss kind. Tell DJ Khaled to shut the f*** up.

Actually, I do have something in common with that song, even though I'm not winning at the moment. All that f***ing up, down, up, down, up. But hell, I just wanna be down. Here's to hoping this is just another early season episode and I get this resolved in the next few minutes, before I lose my resolve. I can't deal with a to be continued, which brings my to my next point. To be continued...

PS. I don't give a f*** how that makes you feel Diary. Today is all about me and my s**tty feelings.

PSS. Now that I'm looking at the chart, I'm pretty sure I've seen this episode before. Looks like a rerun. 

July 1, Day 116, 240.0 lbs, 33.5%

Dear Diary, 
It wasn't a fluke. I still weigh 240. The last 2 mornings I rode the bike for about 10 miles, and hit the floor for some sit ups. They are making a difference. My core is feeling stronger. But I gotta admit, it's kinda depressing to see how quick you can gain weight off some bulls**t. About three weeks to get down from 240, and three days to return. F***. Vegas has a way of f***ing things up. If only I could lose weight like money. Stop f***ing laughing before I lose you. Carrying you is like carrying dead weight. Huh? Nothing? Glad you got the message.   I've lost weight quickly before, but nothing is like gaining. At least for me.  I say kinda depressing, because it might get to someone else. Not I. Not now. I looked in the pics on my phone and found a pic from new years day. I don't remember what I weighed at the time, but I see a huge difference. TLO sees it too. She even made fun of me for tucking a small part of my shirt. She said I hadn't been a tucker in a while. Huh? I said tucker. You really gotta do something about your hearing. Listen to this. Tuck you. Batch!