I need a f***in win. This is getting depressing. I know that I said I wouldn't get depressed over this just yesterday, but f***. What is this, the third or fourth day without any decrease? And it's happening no matter what I do. I ate right yesterday. Subway breakfast sandwich with egg whites and vegetables, salmon and brown rice for lunch, and some chicken pho for dinner. Well maybe the pho was kinda right. It was good going down, but those noodles must have started expanding and I felt like I just drank a gallon of water. The itis was setting in, but I got up and rode the bike for 12 miles. I fell asleep and hopped right back on for another 8 miles first thing this morning. I'd have gone more, but the baby got to me. Starvation is not the answer, but food is the last thing I want to think about now and at this very moment TLO is talking to me about making a cake. Now shes talking about all of the restaurants that are gonna be close to our hotel when we get to Hawaii. After what happened with just a few days in Vegas, I'm worried about all kinds of vacation eating. And that shouldn't be the case. Aww s**t. Now she's talking about food for some potluck that I'll be lucky to survive. This feels like a comedy of errors. Huh? I appreciate the encouragement, but I don't care how far I've come from the start. I care about how this last week has been a complete clusterf**k. I usually think of my life as a TV show and if I keep that thought going I may be ok. The show starts off kinda laying out the issue. The TV show goes on to show progress being made in resolving said issue and that things are going well. Then all the sudden the f***in bottom falls out. That's with about 10 minutes left in the hour. The last few minutes usually have things wrapping up nicely, unless the episode is to be continued and you are left in a f***ed up position until next week. And don't let it be a season finale. You can be screwed for months. Well, my issue is that I was getting way too fat. I made some progress and gotten rid of the 'way'. Currently I'm just too fat. And now the bottom is falling out. I'm definitely not winning now. I feel like a loser, and not the weight loss kind. Tell DJ Khaled to shut the f*** up.
Actually, I do have something in common with that song, even though I'm not winning at the moment. All that f***ing up, down, up, down, up. But hell, I just wanna be down. Here's to hoping this is just another early season episode and I get this resolved in the next few minutes, before I lose my resolve. I can't deal with a to be continued, which brings my to my next point. To be continued...
PS. I don't give a f*** how that makes you feel Diary. Today is all about me and my s**tty feelings.
PSS. Now that I'm looking at the chart, I'm pretty sure I've seen this episode before. Looks like a rerun.
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