January 15, 2014, 240.1 lbs

Dear Diary,
Today I went for a...What do mean where have I been? Look I don't have time for small talk. I was trying to tell you that I went for a walk and ended up jogging. I was out communing with God in the quiet and darkness of the early morning. Huh? Well yes. Him and Kendrick Lamar, but they are far from the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Kendrick says a prayer or two on his CD but I wouldn't call it anything close. Just like walking and running aren't the same. I started out walking and I mixed in some jogging. Now you should know that jogging isn't my favorite thing in the world so if I do it, and thats a big if, I do it in small spurts. Now I've been building up over the last few days and each day I jog a little further. But since I still hate it, I have to convince myself to keep going. Huh? Yeah kinda like I have to convince myself to talk to you. Believe me, its a struggle. I will look at light poles and bargain with myself to keep running to the next one if its not too far and I think I can make it. In the dark it works pretty well since the light casts a perfectly straight line that I use for starts and finishes.Well today I was doing pretty well. I kept going past several light poles even though I wanted to quit. When I renewed my commitment to make it to the next light pole, I figured that I made one commitment too many. Didn't think I was gonna be able to keep it. Huh? No you a**. The commitment I made to TLO is safe. That thing is for life. And yes by that I mean as long as she lets me live. I'm pretty sure she wants to kill me for the insurance money, but thats for another day. Today, I thought I was going to give up on that latest commitment, as the path ahead was too dark. I didn't think I could keep running until I reached the next light pole which was too far ahead. It was at the moment that I was ready to stop, that a light pole that I had not seen, that was previously off, turned on and burned bright. I was shocked. I was happy. I was overcome by emotion and full of joy. I was gonna keep running. And I did. It was like Divine Providence. Scratch that. It was Divine Providence. God was with me and helping me to go a little further. Yea, though I walked through the streets of darkness, I shall fear no...What? Ok no, it wasn't a miracle of biblical proportions, but it was big for me. Kinda like Footprints. Ok, no there were not two sets of footprints. Actually there weren't even a single set, so you can prove who was with me. And yes most of the time, the only voice I heard was Kendrick's. You know what?!!? You are a killjoy. Don't mess this up for me. Fine! It wasn't exactly anything like Footprints, but I know it was He who carried me through. It became pretty obvious when that light came on. Huh? Did I keep running the rest of the way after that? Are you crazy? I told you I hate jogging. Idiot.