As I finished typing the title for todays post I almost typed BFF. Then I started to wonder if you were mine. I mean I tell you all of my deep dark secrets. Well almost all. I didn't tell you that I decided to search for those donuts. The place I had a lead on didn't pan out. I figured that had to be a message from God that I didn't need them. As I was leaving the parking lot I saw a Hostess Bakery Outlet just across the street. I figured that had to be the devil calling. And you know thats crazy. I never blame that dude for my shortcomings. Huh? You know what the f*** I did. I answered. As I pulled into the parking lot feeling ashamed that I couldn't help myself, I was thinking that this must be fate and I was powerless against that kinda s**t. As I walked into the doors of the place, and this is no lie, Let's Get It On starts playing. And you know I had been trying to hold back that feeling for so long. I just knew I was gonna get me some. Huh? Donuts, you a**. It had to be the case. But alas, there were none of the donuts I sought. At least I didn't succumb to all of the tasty treats that lined the walls of the place. Huh? Ok yeah. It was only because I had bought some cupcakes at the place across the street. Actually this brings us full circle to the BFF s**t. Almost immediately after I wondered if you were my BFF, I said f*** no. You're an a**hole. Why would you call me out on my snacks you punk. You know I'm working on getting right and you're really no help at all. My bike is a much better friend. Thats why I rode it 23 miles this morning. It never talks back like you. BFF. More like BFB. Huh? You're stupid too? Big F***ing B****! You're the worst friend ever! Talk to you tomorrow!
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