Dear Diary,
I woke up this morning to find that I hit 240 exactly. I could react as usual by railing at you and the scale. But hell, this isn't even the same scale. Just some douche bag I met in Vegas. It doesn't even know me. How could it get my weight right? F*** you. That's not how scales work. It would make sense to actually weigh people but I don't get the feeling they do. They seem to like to f*** with you and I sense this one is no different. After all I did yesterday I'd have thought I'd stay the same. Ok maybe not, but I did put in some work. Sit ups, push ups, walked more than a mile between hotels in my suit and in what had to be 90 degree weather at 11pm. But f*** it. I figured I'd be happy if I came home below 240. I'm sitting in the airport now, so I'd say I came pretty damn close. Now I have the next 5 days off to work my a** off. Huh? It's a saying dumb f***. I know I need to work the belly much more than my a**. A**hole.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
June 29, Day 114, 238.5 lbs
Dear Diary,
I'm in Vegas and I'm losing! No. Not yay muthaf***a. I'm losing money, not weight. As a matter of fact, I gained weight, but not much. It's almost unrealistic to think I could come out here and lose weight. It's also unrealistic to think I wouldn't lose money. It's a good thing I have more rules than money. My favorite Vegas rule is to never hit the ATM. Saves me every f***in time. Second favorite rule is a new one from my last visit in April. Get the f*** up when a Russian dealer comes in as relief. It saved me some last night while my buddies got burnt. Speaking of burnt, I spent some time in the pool yesterday. It was like a damn club. People holding up the wall and no swimming. F*** that. I put in work. Why are you still cheering? Oh really!?! You're cheering that I lost money. You are a true a**hole. Karmas a bitch. Believe me. I found out yesterday.
I'm in Vegas and I'm losing! No. Not yay muthaf***a. I'm losing money, not weight. As a matter of fact, I gained weight, but not much. It's almost unrealistic to think I could come out here and lose weight. It's also unrealistic to think I wouldn't lose money. It's a good thing I have more rules than money. My favorite Vegas rule is to never hit the ATM. Saves me every f***in time. Second favorite rule is a new one from my last visit in April. Get the f*** up when a Russian dealer comes in as relief. It saved me some last night while my buddies got burnt. Speaking of burnt, I spent some time in the pool yesterday. It was like a damn club. People holding up the wall and no swimming. F*** that. I put in work. Why are you still cheering? Oh really!?! You're cheering that I lost money. You are a true a**hole. Karmas a bitch. Believe me. I found out yesterday.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
June 28, Day 113, 238.2 lbs, 36% bf
Dear Diary,
This losing weight s**t is not rocket science. It's more like magic. Burning calories can burn you out, but if you burn more calories than you take in, you lose weight. Simple right? But what about when you drink a lot of liquids? That's where the magic kicks in. Sometimes what you do works. Sometimes it doesn't. Yesterday I found out what didn't work. I was good most of the day. TLO made me a sandwich for breakfast. It was egg whites and turkey bacon. Good stuff, but all I thought about was the 250 calorie bun. I had salmon for lunch. No big deal there. Dinner was the problem. TLO made pancakes. I decided against the sweets and opted for chili dogs instead. Wise decision. Huh? Do you not understand sarcasm? F***, I hate you. I have this thing in my mind that sweet is bad. It's been a good rule of thumb, but when it pushes you to the wrong thing it's time to rethink things. I can't say that the chili dogs alone were a bad idea, but three of them along with the popcorn and soda I had at the movies were. All that food and a lack of rest made me fall asleep during the movie. I was so tired I went to sleep instead of working out when I got home and.... Presto, chango, fatso! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like magic. Good for you. Now shut the f*** up before I stick this wand up your a**.
This losing weight s**t is not rocket science. It's more like magic. Burning calories can burn you out, but if you burn more calories than you take in, you lose weight. Simple right? But what about when you drink a lot of liquids? That's where the magic kicks in. Sometimes what you do works. Sometimes it doesn't. Yesterday I found out what didn't work. I was good most of the day. TLO made me a sandwich for breakfast. It was egg whites and turkey bacon. Good stuff, but all I thought about was the 250 calorie bun. I had salmon for lunch. No big deal there. Dinner was the problem. TLO made pancakes. I decided against the sweets and opted for chili dogs instead. Wise decision. Huh? Do you not understand sarcasm? F***, I hate you. I have this thing in my mind that sweet is bad. It's been a good rule of thumb, but when it pushes you to the wrong thing it's time to rethink things. I can't say that the chili dogs alone were a bad idea, but three of them along with the popcorn and soda I had at the movies were. All that food and a lack of rest made me fall asleep during the movie. I was so tired I went to sleep instead of working out when I got home and.... Presto, chango, fatso! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like magic. Good for you. Now shut the f*** up before I stick this wand up your a**.
Monday, June 27, 2011
June 27, Day 112, 236.8 lbs, 37.5% bf
Dear Diary,
Thats what I'm talking about. Made it through a weakend with an overall loss. And believe me, if ever there was a true weakend, this was it. Didn't work out Friday or Saturday. Ate like a mad man Saturday night. Actually, it wasn't that bad. It was just crazy compared to what I've become. I've definitely become someone and something different. Huh? Yeah I know, I'll always be an a**hole. And you'll always be a piece of s**t, so we're even. But you'll always stink and I can clean myself up. Recently I think I've been cleaning up kinda nice. The mirror has been nice to me and while I haven't tried to convince myself that I'm skinny, I do see something good going on. Clothes that were on their way to being too tight a couple of months back, are now too big. I'm going through the closet and finding some golden oldies and fitting them better than I did the first time around. I can do this because I've become dedicated to eating better and exercising. I've become super conscious of the things I eat and when I eat them. Before I just used to dump anything into the old gullet, anytime I pleased. I don't do that anymore. Now back to the things that'll never change. I will never like you and I will f*** you up if you ever get too sentimental on me. Now get the f*** outta my face.
Thats what I'm talking about. Made it through a weakend with an overall loss. And believe me, if ever there was a true weakend, this was it. Didn't work out Friday or Saturday. Ate like a mad man Saturday night. Actually, it wasn't that bad. It was just crazy compared to what I've become. I've definitely become someone and something different. Huh? Yeah I know, I'll always be an a**hole. And you'll always be a piece of s**t, so we're even. But you'll always stink and I can clean myself up. Recently I think I've been cleaning up kinda nice. The mirror has been nice to me and while I haven't tried to convince myself that I'm skinny, I do see something good going on. Clothes that were on their way to being too tight a couple of months back, are now too big. I'm going through the closet and finding some golden oldies and fitting them better than I did the first time around. I can do this because I've become dedicated to eating better and exercising. I've become super conscious of the things I eat and when I eat them. Before I just used to dump anything into the old gullet, anytime I pleased. I don't do that anymore. Now back to the things that'll never change. I will never like you and I will f*** you up if you ever get too sentimental on me. Now get the f*** outta my face.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
June 26, Day 111, 238.4 lbs, 36.5% bf
Dear Diary,
Yeah I gained weight. Saw it coming a mile away too. Went to dinner at Crustaceans yesterday. Roasted garlic crab, garlic noodles, spinach and a couple of drinks. After that swung by CPK for some red velvet cake. Quite a departure from my recent eating habits, but it was a special occasion. I was breathing. If that's not special I don't know what is. Add the fact that I fell asleep without working out and you realize it could have been much worse. I was honestly bracing for 240. You know how jealous the scale can get. I think TLO's plan for the day helped save me. Fruits for breakfast, light lunch and then a kick a** dinner. The day long sacrifice was worth it in the end. Great day with a happy ending. Huh? No. Not that kind. I'm not that lucky. Well I'm kinda lucky, but there are times that you have to make your own luck. I've heard it said that luck is when skill and preparation come together and that chance favors the prepared mind. So you should just prepare to get lucky and if you have skill someone may do you a favor if they get the chance. Diary, you getting any of this? Aww, f*** it. I'm not getting anything either.
Yeah I gained weight. Saw it coming a mile away too. Went to dinner at Crustaceans yesterday. Roasted garlic crab, garlic noodles, spinach and a couple of drinks. After that swung by CPK for some red velvet cake. Quite a departure from my recent eating habits, but it was a special occasion. I was breathing. If that's not special I don't know what is. Add the fact that I fell asleep without working out and you realize it could have been much worse. I was honestly bracing for 240. You know how jealous the scale can get. I think TLO's plan for the day helped save me. Fruits for breakfast, light lunch and then a kick a** dinner. The day long sacrifice was worth it in the end. Great day with a happy ending. Huh? No. Not that kind. I'm not that lucky. Well I'm kinda lucky, but there are times that you have to make your own luck. I've heard it said that luck is when skill and preparation come together and that chance favors the prepared mind. So you should just prepare to get lucky and if you have skill someone may do you a favor if they get the chance. Diary, you getting any of this? Aww, f*** it. I'm not getting anything either.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
June 25, Day 110, 237.6 lbs, 34% bf
Diary, Diary, Diary,
So I get it now. I can take the blame for some of these swings. Its all the damn water. I got all super hydrated on Thursday night because I felt like I was getting sick. Cindy told me that the body sometimes holds onto water when its burning through fat. Huh? You don't know her. No. Thats not the one I wrote about in the 80's. Damnit a**hole, if you have the ability to search back through my entries, and we're gonna have to talk about that more, you need to go back and find Cindy's last name. I'll wait. Yeah, thats right muthaf***a. Cindy Brady. Look you were wrong. It happens. Stop with your tears. You're making the ink run. You know what? F*** it. Baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk. If you had a nose, I'd throw a football at it.
So I get it now. I can take the blame for some of these swings. Its all the damn water. I got all super hydrated on Thursday night because I felt like I was getting sick. Cindy told me that the body sometimes holds onto water when its burning through fat. Huh? You don't know her. No. Thats not the one I wrote about in the 80's. Damnit a**hole, if you have the ability to search back through my entries, and we're gonna have to talk about that more, you need to go back and find Cindy's last name. I'll wait. Yeah, thats right muthaf***a. Cindy Brady. Look you were wrong. It happens. Stop with your tears. You're making the ink run. You know what? F*** it. Baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk. If you had a nose, I'd throw a football at it.
Friday, June 24, 2011
June 24, Day 109, 239 lbs, 36% bf
Dear Diary and Scale,
Don't think that just because I addressed someone else yesterday that I forgot about you a**holes. You've made it very clear that you want attention. Well here it is. F*** you. I rode 25 miles last night. Hit a few sit ups. I even ate right yesterday. And I gain 2 lbs? Bulls**t. What the f*** is up with these stupid swings? They are worse than my swings on the golf course. Keep f***ing with me and I'll stick my driver up your a**. Hmmm. Maybe I should go out and walk another 18 holes this weekend. Thanks for the idea. You're welcome for my attention. A**holes.
Don't think that just because I addressed someone else yesterday that I forgot about you a**holes. You've made it very clear that you want attention. Well here it is. F*** you. I rode 25 miles last night. Hit a few sit ups. I even ate right yesterday. And I gain 2 lbs? Bulls**t. What the f*** is up with these stupid swings? They are worse than my swings on the golf course. Keep f***ing with me and I'll stick my driver up your a**. Hmmm. Maybe I should go out and walk another 18 holes this weekend. Thanks for the idea. You're welcome for my attention. A**holes.
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