Dear Diary,
Mary had a little lamb and Michael had a lot. Well that and cake too. We celebrated my mom's birthday yesterday and we had George's Greek Cafe. There was lamb everywhere. Especially on my plate. Huh? No I don't know if he stole it from Mary. No he doesn't look like a gypsy. Also, I'm pretty sure thats a derogatory term plus what the f*** do gypsies look like? Oh, well... Dumba**. Because the lamb I ate wouldn't go away in silence, I decided to try to run it off. As I began my run I had to stop because if was freezing like a muthaf***a. You knew!?!? Why didn't you tell me it was so cold you son of a b****!?!?! Forty six f***ing degrees. It was so cold that I can barely type now. It was so cold that the b**** of a pit bull that could have been your mother didn't chase me. Yup. That dog was out walking around by itself was so big that it should have just been called a bull. Luckily I had stopped running already when I saw it out of the corner of my eye. We both kept walking parallel to each other making sure the other wouldn't start running. It wouldn't come after me. How did I know? It wouldn't. I can't explain it. It - it would consider that rude. It was like we had a contract. Good thing that b**** was as old and as cold as me. If it was the warm day that the sun led me to believe it was gonna be when I looked out the window, things might have ended badly...for that sheepish dog. I'm a beast. I already ate Mary's lamb, courtesy of George. Huh? No, we didn't have fava beans and a nice chianti to complement the meal. Why do you ask?
PS. I don't care if you are mad you weren't invited to the party. The Lyons don't concern themselves with the opinion of sheep.
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