Dear Diary,
During these last few months there have been plenty of ups and downs. Mostly on the weight side of things. I've been having some emotionally too as of late. Huh? Of course I have emotions. They run the gamut. Love, hate, happiness, fear. I'm just like everyone else. For instance, I love when you... Hmmm. I got nothing. Ok lets try this one. I hate you. See that was easy. I'm happy when you're in pain. And I fear that I can't make that happen nearly often enough. But the truth is...Huh? No, by saying but I am not canceling out all that came prior to it, now shut the f*** up so I can finish. The truth is that I'm scared. That whole foreboding sense of doom thing is in full gear. I get it all the time and its almost always wrong, but it keeps returning. Can't figure out why. I did the light bike ride yesterday, just to get my juices flowing again and get some endorphins in the building and now I swear I have pneumonia. Huh? No I don't have any symptoms. My mind is just so f***ing cloudy at the moment. Maybe these hormones are just so f***ing unbalanced right now. This lack of a thyroid has really screwed my pooch. They need to change my meds or something. I lack the energy that I had just a couple of weeks back, and I am getting phantom pains and such. And while I'm sure that this is gonna clear up soon I can't help but be discouraged. F*** you Diary. Huh? I know its not your fault, but what the f*** am I gonna do, blame myself?
Hang in there!! They will level out your dosage and you will be back to normal In no time. You are still healing, anyways!! Don't rush it!!
ReplyDelete