Dear Diary,
I'm not sure why I've been coming at you all late at night for the last couple of days. Huh? No this is not a booty call. I'm married. TLO would have a problem with me cheating on her. Also, yes. You're a book. Your pages are a bit too thin for me. I need something I can grab a hold of and really get in to. You at least gotta have card stock pages and a nice cover to get my attention. I like a weighty book. Speaking of cheating and weight, I saw a scale in Costco that I gave some attention to. I'm convinced the the scale has been lying about my body fat for a while now, but I can't prove it. But I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Huh? No not that kind of grass you a**. Would you put that out? B***h.
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