Dear Diary,
This morning I had to hop on the scale before talking to you because I needed to know if I was gonna give you the Sunday recap pass or if I was gonna have to kick your a**. Well the results on the scale are positive. He is happy that I am not weighing so heavily on him lately and he is telling me nice things. So I will tell you a few nice things. Kittens are pretty. Walks by the beach can be nice, as long as that beach is not Venice. Rainbows are nice, but they've been misappropriated lately if you know what I mean. I mean I've never found a pot of gold at the end of one and I'm pretty sure that's false advertising. Somebody needs to teach those leprechauns a lesson, but not me. Not today. I'm happy. Also, I've seen a movie with an evil leprechaun and they can be mean little bastards. Especially if you steal their Lucky Charms. That reminds me. I haven't had any sugar cereals lately. When I used to eat them I'd pour all kinds of extra sugar on it. I would 'treat them right' in my mind. This was way before I got all Chubb Rock. When I used to make my tacos I'd submerge my shells in grease with seasoning salts, garlic salt, and black pepper to make them the most delicious and 'juicy' ever, which helped me become Notoriously B.I.G. Damn the thoughts of those tacos is enough to make me fly off the handle. I would put them together and then sit down with 6 beautifully adorned tacos and then smash them. 'It's so hard' not to do that right now but I don't want to end like a Big Pun. Pun intended cause I don't wanna be chubby no more. Get it?
PS. F you diary. You can figure out if I mean like this
or my more classical definition as wonderfully stated by the poet Cee-lo Green.
PSS. Something must be wrong with me cause I chose to add the clean version. F*** meeee!
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