April 9, Day 33, 252 lbs

Dear Diary,
Yesterday I felt like Jared from the subway commercials. No, not stupid you dumba**. I ate at Subway for breakfast and lunch. I thought I was doing pretty good. Filled in the empty spots around the edge of the stomach with trail mix, but I made it to the end of my bag which was pretty depressing. Depression didn't last long as I got home and TLO had picked up some lamb and rice from George's Greek Cafe in Long B. E. A. C. H. where the hardest gangstas be. Can't say that city without finishing it up with that line. We were having some friends over. Huh? Do I really have to tell you why you weren't invited diary? Thanks for not making me hurt your f***ing feelings you piece of s**t. So I walk into the kitchen and smell the food in the oven waiting for our guests. I look on the counter and see a box of donuts. Then a few minutes later TLO is baking some muthaf***ing cookies. I was wondering what kind of fresh baked hell I had come home to. Nothing earth shattering but damn, all at once? The 30 days is up and while I can eat what I want without cheating, I'm still in the eat right mindset. I'm pretty sure that lamb is red meat too, so it seems like I was going for the whole f*** the last month diet. But f*** it, it was a Friday night. I had the food it was great. By time the night was over I had a donut and a cookie. All the portions were fine and way less than I would have eaten just a few weeks back. To tell you the truth, it was probably two months ago, maybe three that I bought that same pack of Entenmann's glazed donuts and dusted off an 8 pack without bringing them in the house. I found the box stuffed in my trunk last weekend when I was cleaning it out. I feel kind of ashamed typing this out now, but I felt no shame when I was putting them down 2 or 3 in a sitting. But guilt is a fleeting feeling. Moving on. I avoided the big a** bottle of Sprite that was sitting on the table and I feel good about that. Its been about 5 weeks since I had any and I don't feel the need to change that. After our company left and we did some cleaning up it was about 11:30. I decided I wanted to keep up my momentum and hit the bike. I did a double feature of Sons of Anarchy and rode the bike for 90 minutes, going for over 20 miles. Diary, you're an a**. Yes I have proof. No I didn't coast down hill. That's not how exercise bikes work. With my recent excitement over the show I have decided to form an exercise bike gang. Yeah, I know it'll be pretty hard to ride together unless we somehow go to the gym, but there are no worries so far cause I'm the only member of the Sons of Apathy. I don't really care if you like it or love it...Peace out b***h.

PS. Yes this s**t is real.

PSS. I also started a mafia when I was watching The Sopranos. 

PSSS. When I showed TLO the logo before it was done she said it was scary. I said its for a f***ing Exercise Bike Gang. Its not supposed to be cute.

PSSST. Diary, the first person my EBG is gonna f*** up is you. I'd suggest that we'd burn rubber on you but my bike has no tires. Not sure about future members.