April 5, Day 29, 253.6 lbs

Dear b***hes,
Well f*** me diary. F*** me for believing the hype. I thought I was on a roll and I was gonna hit my goal of 249.9 early. I figured I should have lost a pound. Did you not get the message? Where were you when I was in accounting class? That weight should have been in the loss column. A**hole! I'm gonna school your b***h a**! The school of hard knocks has a special class just for you. Getting F***ed Up 101. You should do well. I was thinking I could do 15 lbs a month and bring sexyback quickly. But nooooo! You know what?? F*** you and that stupid f***ing scale. Are you jealous? I know day 30 is coming up. Maybe you thought I was gonna leave you. I still have a lot of work to do so I'm here for a while. Maybe you thought I was getting too full of myself. You can get full of my foot in your a**. I'm gonna hit my number whether you like it or not. I watched my portions yesterday. Didn't even finish my lunch. Then I rode the bike for an hour. A f***ing hour. It wasn't so bad. I watched Sons of Anarchy, which just got added to Netflix. Good show. Made the hour go fast. They kicked a**. Kinda like I'm gonna kick yours. Don't get all sad now señorita. I don't give a f*** if you cry me a river. You're trying to make me think I'm losing my way but I'm gonna rock your body with uppercuts until the end of time because what goes around comes back around. I hate you with the heat of 1,000 white hot suns. You guys better get this s*** right with the quickness. B***hes.