Dear Diary,
Today I officially made it more than 20 total lbs. lost. I'm not celebrating, bragging or boasting. I'm just saying. Every time I brag about something, it seems to swing back the other way, so I'm just gonna be real low key this time around. But Diary I have a question for you. If you ate frozen yogurt for lunch yesterday and it gave you mad gas, would you double down and eat a bean burrito after that? No. I didn't think so. You're not half the man I am. Both figuratively and literally. It was a tough afternoon trying not to fart all over the place. Sometimes I was successful. Lets just say that I tried to avoid situations where I could be pinpointed as the one that dropped the bomb. I ended up in a couple of crappy situations, literally, but I have to feel lucky that my s**t don't stink. HAHAHA. I could imagine TLO choking on her donut reading this. As a matter of fact, she rolled up last night with a box of krispy kremes in her car last night. I was about to get mad thinking the sabotage was in full effect. Alas, she left them in the car and I forgot about them until this very moment. Would you have broken into her car and stole one Diary? No? What the f*** would you do about anything? I would have done it in a heartbeat. Then I'd have blamed you. You're such a f***in b***h.
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