March 25th, Day 18, 256.2 lbs

Dear bag with which one douches,
No thanks to you and that f***ing scale, I'm back on track. On my way to 10 lbs lost, but my next real goal is 249.9. Haven't been below 250 in a couple years. Speaking of low places, been talking to the Alchy again. He informed me that he is not a lush because he does not drink anymore but he will forever be an alcoholic. I was like phew, because if he ever got over this alcohol thing I'd need a new source of comedy. We were talking and he felt that he finally had something for him to tell me he was sorry for. Notice I said sorry. I've filled him in on my very specific use of words when doing the action. If I am apologizing to you, I'm basically saying that its too bad that you feel that way. Hoping me saying the word apologize to you will make you feel better. If I actually utter the word sorry, its because I really am sorry. Feel free to remember that when I 'apologize' to your punk a** in the future. If ever. Because you deserve my derision. No you don't. I apologize for treating you that way. Anyways the lush (I will continue to use the word lush because its fun to say and type) was setting me up to say he was sorry and leading up to it he said "when you fall off the wagon" and I was like whoa buddy. He said I was white knuckling it. He had a point. Eventually I'm going to stop doing this stuff, but when I do, it'll be because I chose to. Not some uncontrollable urge. He said he'll never take another drink again. I can respect that. But I will damn sure be eating another steak. I actually already have it on the calendar. April 19th. Stay tuned for that you son of a b***h. Also, yo mama is so fat that people thought she was a redwood. Oh she was? Proves my point. B***h.  Now stop distracting me. I believe that he will never have another drink. But it won't be without me trying to help him test his cool. I'm sure I'll have to apologize to him for that later. Anyway, he's working the steps. Maybe I should too, but no. I'm just gonna go to step 9 and apologize to anyone that I ever cursed for trying to stop me from consuming junk. Also to anyone whose candy I stole. Especially that baby. It was just way too easy. I think theres a saying about that... Shut the f*** up you idiot diary. I can figure it out myself. You have my deepest apologies diary-a. You're the s**t.