Dear Defecator,
Yesterday I was basking in the glow of a compliment from a dealer. Maybe basking is the wrong word. Compliment too. He noticed I had lost a few pounds and could tell that my neck wasn't spilling over the collar of my shirt. I'd noticed the same even though you haven't said anything. You selfish prick. Twelve pounds makes a difference. OK you're right. I didn't quite lose 12. Then I gained some back so I'm about a net 10. See what had happened was... I went to the Clipper game last night and must've had a bit too much to eat, but I'll be damned if I didn't think it was good stuff. It was a salad, some shrimp, a few California rolls and some potato salad. Not too bad right? I can hear TLO talking about portion control. I also hear her asking what else. There was also a hot dog and a slice of cheesecake. And? I'm a grown a** man. Yes I grew even more yesterday. We both knew this was gonna happen. It was inevitable. Maybe inevitable was the wrong word. Actually it's not. The important part was it wasn't moment of weakness. I figured what the hell, I've earned it. And I ate it without going on a sugar binge, which was a major victory. Doesn't mean I'm going all in on sugar. I'm still good. I'd have liked to have done some exercise, but I got home pretty late. At least my mind is in a good place and I'm grateful to you for that diary. Maybe grateful is the wrong word. Wait are you in the restroom? What's that flushing sound? Are you talking to me while you're on the toilet? You're a piece of s**t. Actually, I guess it makes sense you're there. Carry on.
PS. I get it. I'm supposed to be losing weight. Who cares about looking good for a day. I'll have to think up an appropriate action to mitigate the damage of my haughtiness. Pride comes before the fall.
PSS. I'm thinking about going all fruit for a day to see how that turns out. I'm mentally strong enough to try it. I think.
PSSS. F*** you and the mirror that got me all happy.
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