March 30, Day 23, 254 lbs

Dear whatchamacallit,

I was gonna say something to you but I forgot. Don't worry it'll come to me. Oh yeah. F*** you. I think that was it. I'm tired this early morning. Stayed up pretty late. Yesterday was busy. Last night in particular. School meeting. Went to the store twice. Washed a few dishes. Washed some clothes. All that while feeling the desire to get some exercise in. So I went into the garage sometime after 11 and hopped on the bike...after some preparation. I had to load up Archer on the TV. It made the ride much more enjoyable, than say, uh, I don't know, talking to you. I don't know why I talk to you anyway. You are the worst listener I know. It's like you don't even use the ears I drew for you. Vincent Van Gogh f*** yourself.  I'm telling you Archer has the best jokes. Anywho,  I was on the bike for 45 minutes last night and rode 10 miles. Yes. It was an exercise bike. Nope. Didn't want to run the risk of riding a real bike too far and then having to pedal back home. Think about it. That crap is way too possible and way too scary. With this bike I can get up whenever the hell I feel like it. Last night I felt like getting off at 20 minutes, but I was motivated to ride to 25 to beat what I did the night before. I got off then because the pedal was loose and bothering me. I fixed the pedal and hopped back on to test it and bless my heart (really bless my heart. There's too much crap that could happen to the old ticker, so while I'm doing my part to make sure blood can flow to it, it would be nice if it kept beating at the right speed, especially with me putting the sudden stress of exercise on it), the timer came came back on just like it never turned off. So I turned the pessimistic athlete in me back on. In my mind I imagined riding the streets past the Krispy Kreme, past Torrance Bakery, past McDonalds, where I didn't want to stop anyway, all the way to the trail mix store, where all of my greatest trail mix dreams could come true. Yes. It was a stupid daydream. Nope. I still couldn't find a decent f***ing bag of trail mix. Finding a bag of trail mix is harder than losing weight. I think my next 30 days should be dedicated to finding a bag. Yes. I'm kinda serious. I need something to do for the next month. Nope. I'm not committed to exercising. Yet... I had something very important to do this morning that I can't think of at the moment. Thanks for wasting my time. Now get the f*** out of the weigh... Oh yeah... You better hope this turns out OK or I'm gonna rip off your other ear. Peace out b***h! 

PS. Peace is literally out the door. I'm gonna kick your a**!