Diary and Scale,
Come on in. You're right on time. For a long time, I thought that I was untouchable. But I wasn't. Well maybe I was. I wasn't at my best and I'm pretty sure TLO didn't want to touch me. It was time to bring sexy back. Yeah! And as you know today is Day 100 of our weight loss cha(lle)nge. I say 'our' because this is a team effort. And that gives me great enthusiasm. "Enthusiasms, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins. " So Scale, F*** yo... Who's at the door? Huh? Where'd this bat come from? Don't worry about it. Scale, why are you laughing? Ok, ok. Here I come. You a**holes stay there. Hello? Oh hey 240's. What are you doing here? Oh. Scale told you where we'd be!?! Well come on in and have a seat. Me? Oh I've been around... Fine. No more beating around the bush. I've been seeing someone new. The 230's. 230's got a smaller gut, I know I told you I'd be true, but 230's got a smaller gut so I'm leaving you. See ya. Actually don't leave yet. I'm not gonna keep you nearly as long as you kept me, but I want you to hear this too. Diary, Scale, 240's... You've been my biggest motivators through your hate. Just because I ate the daddy sized piece of fried chicken last night with a very small red velvet cupcake and a small sliver of cheesecake without exercising doesn't mean I should gain two pounds, you hating a** b***hes. 'All you guys that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day, you have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that you had before you woke up today. You have the same personal problems you had today. I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. You can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about me not accomplishing my goal or gaining a pound or two. But you have to get back to the real world at some point.' And real world standards say that losing 25 pounds in 100 days is pretty good. It's a quarter pound a day, which is way better than eating a daily quarter pounder. No, I didn't eat daily quarter pounders. It was more like Big Macs, but that's not the point. Look. All I'm saying I'd that I've made huge changes in these first 100 days and I'd appreciate your your support over the next 100. We're a team. Group hug! A team that almost lost it's Scale. Don't f*** with me anymore ok buddy? And get this body fat s**t together. Diary. Keep your f***ing mouth shut. You don't need to tell the world all of my damn business. Ok? 240's... Well. First of all, don't touch me. You... Well you have no place here. You can get the f*** out. B***h.
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