I live the most virtuous life that you could imagine. Or at least I imagine that I do. "I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't swear. Oh s**t, I DO smoke and drink!" At least I don't do it too often, drink and smoke that is. Remember that time I got drunk and stabbed you? Good times... Huh? You still mad at that? You remember what I told you? "Life is pain. Get used to it." I have. I've kinda come to enjoy it among other things. I also enjoy the occasional cigar as I did last night while watching The Long Kiss Goodnight. It was well deserved after a day of eating well, doing some exercise, folding clothes and very light cleaning. The last of which TLO may not agree that I did at all. Actually she'd be right. But hey, I never told her that I was going to do a good job of cleaning when we got married. While my virtue may be imaginary, my other qualities are not. "I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest." But in LA, I'm just me. The chubby guy trying to eat right and lose some weight. The eating right part means less time at fast food places. I've become a very basic chef, it you count me making the same stuff TLO has made for me. The losing weight part, well...In recent years I hadn't gone to the pool for fear of embarrassing myself by having to take off my shirt. I wouldn't wear a t-shirt in the pool either, cause for a guy, that should be a huge sign of failure. I just didn't go. So I should probably say sorry to the kids for making them miss out on the pool that's just feet from our house for so many summers. So though I'm still not where I'd like to be, I'm getting a little more comfortable taking off my shirt in public and it helped that there was no one at the pool but me and MD3. I got in some exercise in the pool while making sure the boy didn't drown. A fathers work is never done. But that's mostly because a father, or this father to be more exact, never starts. Say something. I dare you. That's what I thought...what? "Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?" Dumba**. At least I learn from my lessons. Like I've learned to take a break from cigars. The last two have put knots in my stomach. I've been up since 4:30 this morning going to the bathroom. On a good note, I'm sure it helped me lose weight too, but the pain wasn't worth it. Huh? Oh, funny. "Life is pain. Get used to it." F*** you a**hole. Keep f***in with me and I'll chop you into tiny pieces and boil you in your own ink. "Chefs do that."
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