October 31, Day 238, 226.8 lbs, 33.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Sometimes I'm pretty clear on the fact that a lot of this weight loss stuff is mind over matter. If your mindset is right, then you can get through many of the day to day struggles that goes along with attempts to lose weight. I've had the right mindset for most of this time I've been working through things, but I don't know what the f*** I was thinking yesterday. It was my little girls 10th birthday and we took her to Hometown Buffet. My first plate looked like some kids made it. Potato wedges, fried chicken, fried fish and pizza. Plus I had and icee to drink. TLO looked at me like I had lost my mind. I made up for that with my second plate, which was more like what I had been accustomed to eating as of late. Some baked fish, mashed potatoes, corn and green beans. And some grape sprite. Can't forget that. Also can't forget the look on TLO's face when I came back with my third plate. Huh? Yeah I got a third plate a**. Its all you can eat. Not all you should eat or only eat what you think is good for you. I have a problem with making sure I get my moneys worth at a buffet. I should never be allowed in those things. Its just a mistake waiting to happen. I still have a huge appetite. Its a blessing that I've made it this far with my weight loss. I can eat my a** off. Which I did when I came back to the table with a plate full of desserts. Four to be exact. Carrot cake, a lemon bar, a cupcake and a cinnamon roll. There was enough sugar on that plate to power a young kid for a week. Huh? Nope. I didn't eat it all. Only because TLO was looking like she'd kill me if the sugar didn't. It didn't matter to her what the f*** my mindset was yesterday.

October 30, Day 237, 227.8 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary, 

I just don't think I understand my body anymore. I find that odd. Before I used to think we were in sync. If I did this, my body did that. Granny moves this way, juice reacts that way. Huh? You don't know Grandmama? 

Whatever. All I'm saying is that there used to be some predictable outcome and while it wasn't perfect it generally worked. Odds were, if I worked out, I'd almost always lose. Sometimes regardless of what I ate. If I didn't work out, I almost always... Well there I'm not so sure. To tell you the truth this whole f***ing thing seems like a crap shoot. Actually, gambling might explain it better. You can follow all the rules and sometimes you're gonna lose a hand. But if you have the right formula sometimes you'll win a hand or two. At some point you'll even go on a winning streak. But over time the house always wins. Especially if you're just laying around on the couches in that house, eating and watching TV. You have to know when to push away from the table. Especially if there is a cake right in the middle of it. You've got to know when to fold them. Especially if they are the clothes you spent all day washing. You got to know when to walk away and know when to run. It's just too bad I can't do too much running. Huh? Yes, I know my time will come soon enough and I'll get back on track.  Oddly enough, I agree with you. You're still an a**hole though. Don't think I don't understand what you're trying to do. 

October 29, Day 236, 226.6 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary,
Its Saturday morning and while I'd love to be doing the stuff that would cause me to lose weight and work towards my continuing goal, I am not. Ran a couple of early morning errands with the family. Now I'm being all domestic and handling some laundry. Just yesterday I got out and jogged a little and walked some too. Not bad, but a far cry from what I had been doing just a couple of weeks back. But I did something. And thats all that matters, cause we both know that you don't. A**hole.

October 28, Day 235, 228.6 lbs, 30.5% bf

Dearest D**khead,
Here I am. Huh? Don't talk s**t to me. I didn't promise you s**t! I said I'd see you tomorrow and though its late, its still tomorrow. Well its actually today, but yesterday today was tomorrow, so go f*** yourself. Look don't start complaining. I explained it perfectly. Me and my perfect imperfections. But my imperfections are part of my character. Huh? I'm not that type of character a**hole. Do you think I'm here to make you laugh? Well I'm not. I'm just trying to get by and I'm not making you any promises. I'm just gonna break them. Thats why I just usually tell you about what I did. Not what I am going to do. It just leads to me breaking promises to you. Not that I promised you s**t. For example, I said I was gonna ride the bike yesterday. Didn't happen. I got caught up with Big Love and had to finish the series. I laid around all day watching and eating. I ate healthy enough. Sandwich with egg whites, spinach and turkey bacon for breakfast. Chicken sandwich for lunch. Figured I'd be ok on that stuff since I was forgoing the workout. Boy was I wrong. That weight came back in a mean way. Huh? Changing the subject on me, ok. Did I cry? What kind of f***ing question is that? Of course I cried dammit! I can't  even blame it on the hormones. It might have been the fact that they killed Bill at the end, or the bad writing or the fact that I wanted to kill Nicki, or the fact that I reached the end of another good HBO series after watching for years and was rewarded with another s**tty finale. Oh and speaking of s**tty finales...Huh? You wish I was done with you. I'm just gonna keep doing this out of spite. When you run out of pages I'll just buy more. Now shut the f*** up so I can talk about s**tty finales. Today was my last day off of work for disability. I go back on Monday. I'm hoping that I will get back on the grind, since I have to go back to the grind. Maybe things will feel normal again and I can start working out again. I'm gonna try to do better. I promise.

October 27, Day 234, 227.4 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary,
I admit it. I'm starting to sound a lot like a broken record these days. Huh? What do I mean by starting?!?!? Well f*** you if you think that. Its not my fault that I've been banished to the couch to live out my days. Ok, ok. That may be a bit dramatic. But so are you, you f***ing drama queen. Anyway. I'm gonna hit the bike today. Spend some time with the boys from SAMCRO and get myself into gear. The last few days have consisted of me being almost forced to live out my bad habits of laying around and watching TV. I even had a late night snack last night. It was only a granola bar, but believe me I wished it was a pint of Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake.  Even though I did that, the overall decent eating helped me to come down slightly from the 228 I weighed in at yesterday. I forgot to hit the scale before breakfast, so I didn't feel like counting that. Kinda like I don't feel like counting you as a real friend. Huh? Well the feeling is mutual a**. See you tomorrow!

October 25, Day 232, 225.8 lbs, 33.5% bf

Dear Diary,
During these last few months there have been plenty of ups and downs. Mostly on the weight side of things. I've been having some emotionally too as of late. Huh? Of course I have emotions. They run the gamut. Love, hate, happiness, fear. I'm just like everyone else. For instance, I love when you... Hmmm. I got nothing. Ok lets try this one. I hate you. See that was easy. I'm happy when you're in pain. And I fear that I can't make that happen nearly often enough. But the truth is...Huh? No, by saying but I am not canceling out all that came prior to it, now shut the f*** up so I can finish. The truth is that I'm scared.  That whole foreboding sense of doom thing is in full gear. I get it all the time and its almost always wrong, but it keeps returning. Can't figure out why.  I did the light bike ride yesterday, just to get my juices flowing again and get some endorphins in the building and now I swear I have pneumonia. Huh? No I don't have any symptoms. My mind is just so f***ing cloudy at the moment. Maybe these hormones are just so f***ing unbalanced right now. This lack of a thyroid has really screwed my pooch. They need to change my meds or something. I lack the energy that I had just a couple of weeks back, and I am getting phantom pains and such. And while I'm sure that this is gonna clear up soon I can't help but be discouraged. F*** you Diary. Huh? I know its not your fault, but what the f*** am I gonna do, blame myself?

October 24, Day 231, 226 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary,
Did you miss me? Well f*** you too a**hole. I didn't really miss you either. I just decided to take the weekend off from you. Wasn't really mad, just didn't feel like putting in the effort. I've been laying around reading books, watching football and doing nothing that would possibly help me lose weight. Not that I don't want to, but I'm trying to be careful. Huh? No, not with what I eat. Between Thursday night and yesterday I ate a whole sweet potato pie and multiple helpings of birthday cake. And to be honest the pie started on Thurday night and was done by early Friday. Mix in a few burritos, and some enchilada casserole and a whole lot of no exercise and the result is what was to be expected. A fatter me, but quite honestly not as fat as I thought I might get. My new frame of thinking will allow me to have the occasional dessert, but it won't let me go completely off the tracks. I end up making up for it by eating better in some other area. Or working out a little harder. But thats my problem right now. I can't workout hard at all. Here's to hoping my time of forced inactivity doesn't f*** me over for good. Huh? Well yeah I can do a light workout on the bike while watching TV... And? You know what? F*** you. I wasn't looking for a solution. Unless its something I could possibly drown you in. Let me know. Thanks.  

October 21, Day 228, 225 lbs, 37.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Not too long ago, I would be looking at 225 as some sort of victory and not an utter failure. Huh? What the f*** does this have to do with dry cows? I said utter, not udder you stupid mudder fudder. Now get off your bulls**t, so I can get back to mine. And no, 225 is not a failure, but at this point its a reality. Another reality is that I should be inching closer to 215 at the moment, but because I have this little thing going on, I can't exercise the way I want to. I did something a tad too strenuous yesterday and I'm feeling the ill effects right now. No, it has nothing to do with the burrito or the sweet potato pie. Now the weight does, but not the pain in my neck. And to keep the pain in my neck from radiating and becoming a pain in my a** (please note I give you no reason to question your job security), I'm gonna stay in the bed today and give this recovery the attention it deserves. I'll deal with the weight later...

October 20, Day 227, 224.2 lbs, 35% bf

Dear Diary,
As my dreams of hyperthyroidism turn into nightmares of hypothyroidism, it looks like I'm gonna have to get my fat a** up and do something. I've gone up a couple of pounds in the last couple of days. Not what I was expecting at all.  I saw this thing where lady said she had hypothyroidism and grew 20 pounds in just a couple weeks even though she was very active. That wouldn't be cool. So instead of sitting here just watching the inevitable fat waves crash into the shore of my recovering body, I guess I've got to get up and do exercise. I haven't gotten to the point where exercise is like some horrible disease or anything, but I can say that I'm not excited to do it after going through what happened the last couple of days. While detoxing from Italian Icees, I developed an addiction to cookies. Luckily there are none left.  Huh? Yes a**hole. I at them all. You happy numb nuts? Don't answer that!  Here's to hoping I won't fall flat on my face and have my head roll off my shoulders as I try to hop back on the wagon.  Its f***ed up what pills do to you. Huh?No I don't have any of the little blue ones. Do I need some!?!? Hmmm... Will they help when I f*** you up?

October 19, Day 226, 222.6 lbs, 37% bf

Dear Diary,
As I stepped off of the scale this morning my thoughts of temporary hyperthyroidism and it's singular joy of weight loss all faded into f***ing oblivion. Seems like I'm gonna have to do this the hard way even though I still feel like s**t. So I limited my breakfast from the feast of sugary cereals and bacon that I've come to desire to a protein shake, fruit and a delightful assortment of pills. Too bad exercising your will power doesn't burn much in the area of calories. I still need to find the energy to exercise for real. I've got nothing but time. Well at least another week. Huh? Yes I'm sure I don't have cancer you a**!

October 18, Day 225, 221.6 lbs, 35.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Really? I'm as surprised as you. Are you telling me that all I had to do to get this stuff kickstarted again was to lose a body part, that while important, could be replaced by a pill? Huh? Yes, its just one day. Maybe this is not the start of anything new. No, I don't know if its the cause, but I'm sure its had some effect. I laid around yesterday trying to get some rest and get this recovery thing going on. I didn't eat too much, and though most of what I did was a struggle, I wouldn't consider it to be exercise. But even if it were, I didn't think that a loss this drastic would happen. And no I'm not complaining. I might if this 3 lbs a day thing is still happening in a week though. Maybe more like in 2 weeks, cause just one week of this would be about perfect and take me right to 200 lbs. Two weeks of this would give me some room to eat like I'm stupid and pack back on some weight with muscle. Hmmm. Maybe I'll complain in 3 weeks. But for now, I'm just gonna take it in and let whatever is doing this, take it off.
PS. The Dr. called and said the biopsy showed no signs of cancer at all. Just a big a** gland.
PSS. I'm ok here if you'd like to tell a d*** joke. Nothing huh? F*** you.

Take a picture b***h!

October 17, Day 224, 224.8 lbs, 33% bf

Dear Diary,
So I'm home. And I'm disappointed. No a**hole, I'm not disappointed to be home. Home is where the heart is. And the computer and directv. Huh? The family is covered in the heart part. They are what keeps me alive. They keep the blood moving through my veins. They can also give you heart attacks. Those kids are... normal. But when you're painfully recovering from a surgery, normal seems pretty f***ing rambunctious. I'm disappointed I didn't lose more while I was in the hospital. I'm sure it had to do with my new addiction to Italian Icees. They should really list the calories on the label and make sure they list the addictive substances included in those things. Huh? Also yes... Well, actually no. I am not addicted to pain meds. I'm doing ok without the more powerful ones. Well kinda. I have some tylenol with codeine that barely works. I feel like my head is sewn onto my shoulders and is hanging there perilously. With the wrong move I feel like its gonna tumble down the steps. Maybe the pain meds helped me to ignore that thought, but I can't be sure. What I can be absolutely clear of is that last night I'd have gladly given up several pints of blood to be back in my hospital room with access to some peace and quiet, some good pain meds and yes, Italian Icees. Since thats not gonna happen and since I need to work on getting better each day, so I can continue to lose weight the hard way, I'm going back to sleep. Huh? F*** off. Proper sleep is important for your metabolism.

October 16, Day 223

Dear Diary,
I guess I have nothing to complain about right now. I don't know what I weigh, and though I've spent the last few nights in the hospital I'm doing ok. I know there are 'Better Dayz' ahead, though I'm sure I'll have something to complain about soon enough. I'm going home today. Huh? No that's not why I'm gonna complain a**hole, but that is gonna make me a sitting target for Myles to take off on me. That kid wanted to rip out my IV yesterday. His determination is amazing. His strength too. I do fear that he'll pull at my stitches while I sleep. Huh? When I see him I will do no such thing. 'Bomb First.' He's a baby you a**.  But no complaints about my family loving on me.  I'll likely complain because I have a feeling I didn't lose anything and I won't be able to hit my regular workout for a while, while at the same time having nothing to do but to eat and sleep. I don't like being lazy anymore, but I'm kinda being forced into it for the moment. I should be able to ride my bike, so if the pills I'll be taking don't zap my strength I may be putting up some amazing mileage totals over the next couple of weeks. Actually if they give me the wrong amount of hormones I might drop weight in spite of the forced laziness. I'd rather get it honestly, but at this point I'll take what I can get. I'll also be working on keeping my head up. And before I you insert your Tupac joke you should know that I thought of them all already. How? 'I get around.'
PS. I found a scale here, and just my luck, the batteries were dead. Huh? I don't know if Biggie did it! F***! You're an a**.

October 15, Day 222

Dear Diary,
Still in the hospital. Feeling much better though, save the occasional ache and pain. Being in a little room for much of the day doesn't give much to write about, so... I have to say though, I'm concerned that there is not scale in my room. TLO told me that I was asking for a scale when I got out of surgery, along with some ice cream. Good to know I've got my priorities straight. I also wanted to make sure she called someone from my job to tell them I was alive. But while breathing is nice though not always easy, it would also be nice to know what I weigh. I'm concerned that the lack of exercise, along with being fed 3 times a day is not assisting with my expected weight loss. Could this all be for nothing? Well I am alive. So I guess there is something to be said for that. Huh? No I didn't think I was gonna die, but the co-pays were killing me. I'm gonna get my monies worth. Ahh, here's breakfast now. Gotta go.

October 14, Day 221

Dear Diary,
Wow. I'm so damned out of sorts. I had my surgery yesterday and all went well. It took about 4 hours, but my doctor went in and removed my thyroid and took a look around for anything else that needed to be done. Lymph nodes looked ok, but the thyroid was 9 centimeters, which was about twice as big as they thought. It made things a little more complicated, but it got done. I woke up to see a couple of buddies that had made the drive to check on me, along with my mom and of course TLO. I'm grateful for all of the prayers and well wishers. Grateful for the nurses too. I had a horrible night, sleeping at most for about an hour, then for about 10 minutes on average, but they helped me out tremendously. I have no idea what I weigh at the moment, but seeing as how I was on liquids all day I should be down. Not sure where I'll be when I recover from all this, but I think I'm gonna have a tough time working out. Here's to hoping that daddy's little surgery will be helpful in more ways then one.

October 13, Day 220, 226.8 lbs, 30.0% bf

Dear Diary,
It's 6:30 in the morning and I've been up since 3 and some change. I'm sitting on my porch, the sun is coming up and the street light just went out. It's still kinda dark blue overhead, but to the east I can see the horizon starting to change. Huh? You know what? F*** you a**hole. I'm trying to paint a pretty picture for you. A backdrop if you will into my mind at the moment, before I lose it. If there was ever a time to lose it, nows that time. I'm about two and a half hours I'm gonna get something cut out of me. Huh? No I'm not getting liposuction you a**. Where the f*** have you been the last 2 months? They're taking out my thyroid. And before you ask again, no this has nothing to do with my weight loss. I did that the old fashioned way. I started exercising, stopped eating s**t and started talking s**t. Actually I started writing s**t, I always talked it. So f***ing what. Actually, I'm nowhere near losing my mind over this. I have a calm about me that's not so strange. I'm good. But if something bad happens, I just want you to know how I feel. I... I... I'm gonna come back and f***ing haunt you cause I hate you. See you later, on one side or the other, b***h. Huh? No you can't have my stereo.

October 12, Day 219, 226.4 lbs, 32% bf

Dear Diary,
During this time of trying to get in shape and lose weight, I've learned to listen to my body. When it needs something sweet, I've tried to give it fruit or something other than sugar. When it craves something salty,
I hook it up, but to tell you the truth, I don't think I crave much salt. When it craves cake, I pull a Marie Antoinette. Huh? Well yes, I am aware that she didn't say let them eat cake, but I don't really give too much of a f***. Well, actually I do give a f*** about some cake right now, but lets get back to it... And when my body tells me to sleep, I generally don't listen. Ok I listen, but I don't usually follow the orders. Last night the body didn't tell me anything, it just began to shut down on me. Not sure why, but I couldn't over ride it. It didn't matter that last night was time to ride the bike and watch an new episode of the Sons of Anarchy. I went to sleep. Now I'm awake, and I'd like some cake. And some catfish, and a carne asada burrito from Isaacs. Its gonna be a long day, especially with me thinking of all of the stuff I can't eat tomorrow. F***.

October 11, Day 218, 227.0 lbs, 26.5% bf

Dear Diary,
I could ask what the f*** or whatever like I didn't see this coming....Well... What the f***? Is 23 miles and nearly an hour and a half on the bikes not good enough for you? I didn't see this coming. Ok maybe I did, but you didn't have to do it. Just like I didn't have to eat those Oreos. Reduced fat my a**. More like increased fat on my a**. Huh? My body fat did go down, huh? Oh. Well fine. Just make sure the weight does too this time. I'll try to be good today if you are. See you tomorrow you f***ing a**hole. Ok, ok. I'll play nice.

October 10, Day 217, 225.8 lbs, 28% bf

Dear Diary,
Didn't do much yesterday that was deserving of losing weight, so I didn't. Its not like I didn't want to. I replaced a couple of meals yesterday with protein shakes and my other meal was sensible. The real issue was that I didn't really get in a workout. I was doing work work all afternoon, with football in the background and watching thyroid surgery videos. That was a mistake I might add. The internet is amazing, but it can scare the s**t out of you if you let it. By the time I hit the garage to watch Dexter and ride the bike, my DVR wasn't working right. And who the hell can exercise without watching TV. Thats just dumb. Also, yes. So are you. F*** off.

October 9, Day 216, 225.4 lbs, 32.0%

Dear Diary,
Theres something to be said for hitting the gym and working with a trainer. Theres also something to be said for tried and true diet programs and exercise videos. I'm just not sure what the f*** it is. I've been d**king around out here doing whatever the f*** I thought was the right thing for the last 6 months and though I've had my ups and downs, its generally worked for me. And no I didn't do it alone. I did it with some advice from friends. Huh? No not you, and to be fair not all of the advice and not all of my friends. You just can't do anything people tell you. You have to look it up. You have to do whats right for you. What was right for me yesterday involved helping a friend thats been through his own ups and downs. The Alchy. As a matter of fact, he took me through some ups and downs too. Up and down the muthaf***in stairs while we were moving his s**t. Also yes, his wife and kids stuff too. The distance wasn't much, but its amazing how much stuff a few people can have. He said it would be just about 2 hours and he had a good size crew to help. When we were about an hour and a half in with no end in sight we discussed how he had grossly underestimated the time needed to get this done. One thing I grossly underestimated was my desire for chocolate chip cookies. His wife went to Subway to get us lunch and as I ate the very specific sandwich I ordered I figured I'd stay away from the cookie and the soda. Negative. I killed them. But it all worked out in the end, because I got my workout all the way through. Theres something to be said for going the traditional route, but theres even more to be said for making your own way. Still don't know what the f*** it is though.

October 7, Day 214, 228.2 lbs, 32.5%

Dear Diary,
Wow. I've taken this long to talk to you only because I kinda hate you right now. Its been a long day since I hopped on the scale to reveal that bulls**t a** weight it gave me. Look, I said that I knew my body would snap back, but 4 lbs. is pretty much inconceivable. Actually its more like impossible. I didn't consume anywhere near the calories needed to do something like that. My only guess is that its water. Enough water to drown you in if this s**t is still here tomorrow.

October 6, Day 213, 224.2 lbs, 33.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Yay. Huh? Yeah thats it. Celebration over. I'm sure the body will try to snatch that weight back, but I'll be working my plan.  The plan last night was to replace dinner with a protein shake and keep doing what I've been doing. Did 25 miles on the bike while catching up with the boys from Entourage. Also did some push ups and countless sit ups. Huh? Oh you caught that? Nope I didn't keep count of how many I did. It was late. The important thing was that I did them a**. Now get off my back before I... well before I... I've got nothing. You have a wonderful day ok?
PS. I've got it. Before I shoot you with my magic bullet. Ok, yeah its a blender. I understand I can't shoot you with it. But I can shred you to pieces and put you in my next protein shake creation. Don't f*** with me. Thats what I thought. P***y.
PSS. I retract the whole wonderful day s**t I said earlier.

October 5, Day 212, 226.2 lbs, 33.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Can't you just let me have this? F***. Maybe you can tell me what I did wrong yesterday cause for the life of me, I don't know. Protein shake and fruit for breakfast. No issue there. Had Japanese for lunch. Some rolls and a chicken bowl that I didn't finish. Then for dinner I had some fish, rice and vegetables that TLO made. Maybe I had too much rice yesterday. What the f*** ever. My dessert of 27.5 miles on the bike should have helped me out in that area. But nooooo! I had to gain weight. Maybe it was the water. If it was I'll never drink that s**t again. I'm gonna switch to a steady diet of your blood. Huh? Fine. Ok then. Your ink. B***h.

October 4, Day 211, 225.0 lbs, 32.5% bf

Dear Diary,
I put down 350 push ups and about 120 sit ups last night while watching a Monday Night Football game that helped my fantasy team wrap up a last minute comeback win. Huh? Yeah. You don't have one? No it does not make me a nerd. What makes me a nerd is talking to an a**hole like you. If it didn't violate my code I'd kill you like my arms are killing me. That reminds me. I rode 20 miles last night while watching Dexter and his dark passenger. Hmmm. Could you be considered my dark passenger? Huh? How are you gonna answer a question with a question? Well no, TLO is not riding with me. Why do you ask? Oh. Well she is dark and... don't interrupt me. Plus, you don't spell beautiful with two O's and a Y. Oh, yeah. I get your point... Nice.

October 3, Day 210, 225.4 lbs, 34.5% bf

Dear Diary, I'm not sure exactly what I did yesterday, but I'd like to bottle it up and do it daily for the rest of my life. Or at least until I reach my ideal weight. And yeah, I'm not exactly sure what that is either. But I can tell you for sure that yesterday involved football, chicken, and cake.  It also involved putting a dresser together. You can leave that part out of the daily brew, but just know that I could use that stuff today cause I'm closer to my low than I've been in over a month and I don't want to do anything to f***it up. If something does go wrong, rest assured that I will do something to f*** you up. 

October 2, Day 209, 227.6 lbs, 35.5% bf

Dear Scale,
Hows it going? Cool. Thats great. Me? Oh, I'm doing fine. Thanks for giving a f***. Well do you really give a f*** or anything resembling one, cause I can't tell. Yeah I know that my weight went down yesterday. I'm gonna take some credit for that. I ate ok, but I did have a cookie. Huh? I did not cheat. Cookie was not on my 30 day list. Ok fine, you're right. Its fine by the letter of the law, but not the spirit. And if we're being honest here, I didn't just cheat with the cookie, but I had a spiritual fling with another scale. Huh? You can't ask me why...but since you did, I'm sick of your s**t. You can't make up your mind. Am I fat, am I skinny? Ok fine, you've never called me skinny. Hell you continue to call me obese, so I guess we can say you've consistently called me fat, but at what percentage? According to you, I gained 4% bf since yesterday while losing weight. So I actually got fatter. Doesn't matter that I did push ups all day, huh and didn't eat any junk food? OH! Here we go with the cookie again. How long are you gonna hold that over me? I tried to give it away, but noooo, Terri didn't take it. I get no credit for staying away from the Banana Pudding in the fridge either. F***! How do you even calculate body fat anyway? I bet you don't know. I'm waiting... Oh so now you want to be quiet. Fine, but don't say s**t when I replace you.

PS. Don't think I haven't noticed the relatively flat line over the last month and some change. Though I've been to Hawaii and Miami in that time, I fully blame you.
PSS. See you tomorrow.

October 1, Day 208, 229.4 lbs, 31.5% bf

Dear Diary,
I'm not sure why I've been coming at you all late at night for the last couple of days. Huh? No this is not a booty call. I'm married. TLO would have a problem with me cheating on her. Also, yes. You're a book. Your pages are a bit too thin for me. I need something I can grab a hold of and really get in to. You at least gotta have card stock pages and a nice cover to get my attention. I like a weighty book. Speaking of cheating and weight, I saw a scale in Costco that I gave some attention to. I'm convinced the the scale has been lying about my body fat for a while now, but I can't prove it. But I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Huh? No not that kind of grass you a**. Would you put that out? B***h.