December 27, Day 295, 234 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary,
I stepped on the scale this morning and immediately thought 'why am I doing this?' The answer would be because of habit. Because I crave information as much as I crave cakes. But the thing is, I know I haven't done anything to bring the scales down in the last week or so. Plus now that I'm aware that my body is working against me, I'm almost feeling like its a losing battle. I'll get over the feeling, the cold, and general malaise that is in the atmosphere. I just can't tell when. I hope sooner than later, because I'd like to get this party started again. Huh? No. There will be no cake at the party.

December 26, Day 294, 234.4 lbs, 39% bf

Dear Diary,
Merry Christmas! Huh? Yeah I know that I'm a day late. I'm also a dollar short. Oh? You're not concerned? Well you should have been, cause that was gonna be my gift to you. Its not like you even deserve that. Hell I don't deserve much of what I got. And I'm speaking specifically about the weight I "received" over the last few days. Really over the last few months, but I did get some confirmation that its still not my fault. Kinda. I took a blood test for my thyroid crap and come to find out that about two weeks after my thyroid was removed something changed dramatically. The numbers are kind of confusing, but my meds were changed and has started to correct my hypothyroid condition somewhat. I am still far from where I was before the surgery though. I'm hoping that my doctor will again step my dosage up which may help me step it up again. But what I really need to do is step away from the table. But truth be told, I'm pretty sure my increased hunger is all tied up in this hormone bulls**t too. I just have to take things step by step and hope to get back to the momentum I've seemed to have left behind. With all these damn steps, it seems like I could use a 12 step program. Huh? Hell naw I'm not gonna be doing a damn step class. On top of that s**t being for the birds, it costs money. By the way let me borrow a dollar...

December 24, Day 292, 230.4 lbs, 38.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Went to sleep late last night and woke up early this morning. Actually its more like I went to sleep early this morning and woke up later this morning. I decided it was time to go out for a jog. And just like so many times this week I got caught up in something. Most of this week its been a cold holding me down. This morning it was just me. I lingered until the baby woke up and then it was too late to go. And believe me I needed it. Huh? Don't you f***in tell me that you know. A**hole. I started in on the sweet potato pies last night. Nope. I didn't eat a whole one. Huh? No. I'm not mad at that. Its the first valid question you've ever asked. I am likely to eat a whole one of those in minutes. So what can I say? I did spend this week nibbling on junk and not exercising, so I'm happy that my number is where it is. when I can knock out this cold and get past this junk food I'll get back on track. Until then, many happy returns...to the dessert table.

December 17, Day 285, 232.8 lbs, 37.5% bf

Dear Diary,

I'm not blind to the fact that I f*** up quite often. I mess up the progress of weeks in minutes. Hell even Stevie Wonder could see that my weight is Creepin.' Wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it go...

Hit play, then sing along...

I can hear you sighin'
Yes I ate that whole pie and?
Why must it be
That I always eat...
S**t I don't need

At a lunch we're sittin'
Laughin', talkin' s**t and
Why must it be
That I always eat...
S**t I don't need
I don't need

When I go out to eat babaa
I feel those moments of ecstasy
Candies, cakes and treats babaa...
I wonder if I'm eating
in your dreams
Or could it be I eat all night
 in my fantasy

Oh, steak is so amazing
Oh, oh, oh, ah, ah...
Wanna taste your filet
Don't let it be
That I always eat...
Find more similar lyrics on http://mlyrics.com/hXdS**t I don't need
I don't need

When I'm sleep at night babaa
I dream of all the bulls**t that I ate
When you sleep at night babaa...
I wonder if I'm creeping
up in weight
It has to be that I

put too much on my dinner plate

Oh, weight is creeping' slowly
Oh, oh, oh, ah, ah...
Looks like a roly poly'
I can't let this be
That I alway eat...
S**t I don't need
I don't need

I don't need

I don't need

I don't need

I don't need

I don't need

I don't need

I don't need

December 16, Day 284, 231 lbs, 34.5% bf

Dear Diary,
I wonder if it was a Fuji apple in that whole Garden of Eden fiasco. I might have made the same mistake. Those muthaf***in apples are good. I'm just saying. Huh? Well yeah, I'd have preferred to walk around naked all day. Hell, I still would, but that might be awkward in work meetings, plus I'm in no condition to do so. Huh? Yeah I understand that if I ate more apples than cookies and cakes things might be different. And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle. Huh? Don't tell me that. For heaven's sake, you're such an a**.

December 14, Day 282, 230.8 lbs, 35.5% bf

Dear Diary,
I'm feeling kind of good. I ate ok yesterday. Got in a decent little workout that still has my stomach tight. Huh? Ok. As tight as a relatively bulbous belly can be. A** hole. I'm cautiously optimistic that things are progressing. Usually I get too boastful and a piece of red velvet walks into my life. But things are looking up the last few days. Or should I say down. Hopefully I can keep it up. I mean down. Huh? That is not what she said. No taking shots at my manhood! You should know that I'm down to f*** you up.

December 13, Day 281, 232.4 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary,
I wish I could take credit for an amazing 3 lb. loss day by saying that I worked my literal a** off and ate a perfect meal every few hours. But I didn't. Can't explain it. Just hope it happens again today.

December 12, Day 280, 235.8 lbs, 31.5% bf

Dear Diary,
I'm getting worried. Well kinda. This really isn't the way I saw things going. I mean, this has happened before. I jumped in weight around August, but that was coupled with vacations. This was just coupled with some bulls**t. This was the weakend from red velvet hell. It happened again. This time it came in cupcake form. And to be clear I said no before I said yes. So yeah, I did it. I think the bigger damage is what I didn't do. Workouts have been pretty weak, if they even happen. I've got to say I'm pretty disappointed in myself. Huh? F*** you. They say it's always darkest before the dawn. Hell, it's a new day already. Huh? Yes. I know it gets dark by 5 pm. I'm sure I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to be helping me?

December 11, Day 279, 235.0 lbs, 29.5% bf

Dear Diary,
Yup. That's the weight. Can't say I'm too happy about it. I felt it coming but I didn't really think I'd get back there. Well not before this weekend hit. I've been out past midnight the last two nights and people keep sending me home with Red Velvet cake. Huh? Yeah I tried to turn it down. Both times, but damn. It actually came in use last night. I had an hour drive and needed the sugar boost. What I really need now is the metabolism boost. I haven't gotten a real workout in for days. Today is Sunday and I hope to be all over some football. I'm just gonna to have to make sure I don't go all sedentary and s**t. Huh? That's now how I meant it. Huh? True. But I'm not saying they are mutually exclusive. A**hole.

December 8, Day 276, 231.6 lbs, 35% bf

Dear Diary,
Ok. I do really have it all figured out. It's just a question of execution. I executed the diet part pretty well for most of the day. The breakdown came at the end of the day when I decided I needed to execute the baby. I mean he cried for an hour straight. To shut him up I plied him with PBJs. I joined in with him too. Not the best idea. Stressed eating is not cool. But then again neither was the kid. Had he not wasted so much of my time I'd have likely been able to workout. I've missed 2 days now. First because I couldn't stay awake and second because the little ex cute, that needed to be executed couldn't go to sleep. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now I just need to stick to my workout plan.

December 7, Day 275, 229.4 lbs, 35% bf

Dear Diary,
I'm not sure what came over me yesterday, but all I could do was sleep once I made it home from work. I was knocked out in my chair at about 7:45. I woke up to give the boys a bath and then hopped right in the bed. Its not like I went into a food coma or anything. I had some salmon and rice for dinner. Now there were a couple of fries on my plate and a small piece of cake to top it off, but that doesn't usually bring the itis. Huh? You don't know what the itis is? Here is the definition from the Urban Dictionary, so it has to be true.

2.	itis	971 up, 782 down
	a naturally occuring drowsy feeling that is created when a person, normally of the African-American race (although it may affect peoples of all creeds), eats a large amount of fried, salty, or fatty foods...this feeling usually causes one to sip some purple drank and take a nap i dun ate all the KFC, the itis got me....wake me up when Cosby's on

Needless to say, I got no kinda workout in. Heres to hoping it doesn't strike again.

December 6, Day 274, 229.0 lbs, 35% bf

Dear Diary,
Just when I thought I had it all figured out. S**t changes so fast. The reality is that this was no setback. I didn't eat junk yesterday. I didn't eat too much. I exercised and did what I needed to do to burn calories and keep hope alive. Huh? I don't think he has that copyrighted. F*** it, even if he does, he'll never read this s**t so we're cool. Or at least I'm cool. You're really awkward...kinda like that silence. Well anyway, I just drank too much, too late. After riding for about 75 minutes I got up and decided to make my breakfast for the rest of the week. Huh? Simple really. I drop a couple egg whites in a bowl with some pepper, parsley and turkey bacon, then I nuke it for minute or so. Its like a little omelette. Drop it on a piece of toast with some spinach between and its good to go. While putting all of that together I put down a protein shake. It was around midnight. And don't you start with that gremlins s**t again! I knew this would happen, but I did it anyway. I figured the benefits would be greater than the short term weight gain it would bring. What can I say? I was thirsty my friend. Huh? No. We're not friends. And there are definitely no benefits. Well actually. I will f*** you...up.

December 5, Day 273, 228.2 lbs, 37% bf

Dear Diary,
Happy Monday! I feel like I have things all figured out and that's a pretty damn good feeling. Especially for a Monday. Huh? Well, I'm back under 230 and while I can't say that I'll never have another setback I don't think it'll happen today. Huh? Yeah, I did have cake yesterday. Just because I regressed yesterday doesn't mean it'll happen today. Yes it was multiple pieces, but I survived it. And football too. Usually that could be a deadly combination, but I did push ups and sit ups instead of sitting on my a** all day. Then I hit the bike and watched Dexter. That coupled with the morning bike ride and some decent eating set me up for the loss. Huh? Yes, there is more cake at home and more football to watch tonight. Are you trying to f*** up my Monday morning high? I can't figure you out. Speaking of that I can't figure out this body fat s**t either. I don't feel so good anymore. F***. I hate you. Stop smiling a**hole!

December 4, Day 272, 229.4 lbs, 36% bf

Dear Diary,
Uh, I lost weight. Little Saturday morning bike ride. An early night of sleep. I think thats as good as it gets. Especially when the number comes down the way it did.

December 3, Day 271, 233.6 lbs, 34% bf

Dear Diary,
I got to hang out with one of my boys last night. Huh? Oh. I made it home by 8:30, when most people are getting ready, to get ready to go out. F*** you for trying to make me feel old. Huh? Yes, old people stay out later than that. I did see the really grown and sexy part of the restaurant was popping as I was on the way out of the door. OK, fine. Now shut the f*** up. We met for happy hour and chopped up some old times. For me it took me way back in the day. Right back to old eating habits. I had sliders, fries and nachos. A couple of beers to wash them down too. Then we discussed how disgusting beer is over Irish Car Bombs. Answer me this. Is it less ghetto to drink a 40 oz. if they put it in two large mugs? Thats what I thought. And no, I don't give a f*** about being ghetto. Huh? Yeah I did drink them with my pinky extended. Why do you ask?

December 2, Day 270, 231.8 lbs, 31.5%bf

Dear Diary,
This comes as a surprise. I guess it wasn't supposed to be. On the calorie intake side I must have screwed up. F***ing Panda Express. I chose the lowest calorie items I saw. I think the real problem was that I drank my calories. A green tea at lunch and some lemonade at my motherf***er in laws house. Oh yeah. A donut too. With all that said I think that was a bit much to gain. I figured after 30 miles on the bike I'd be due for a decrease or at least I'd stay even, but no. I know its not true, but sometimes it seems like I have no control over my weight. Like whatever will be, will be. I don't care. I'm gonna keep it pushing through this bulls**t. Que sera, f*** ya!

December 1, Day 269, 230.2 lbs, 35% bf

Dear Diary,
Let me start out by saying that baby steps are cute. Huh? You agree? That's great, but I didn't ask you. Plus they're only cute when an actual baby is taking them. I don't find that s**t cute when it comes to making progress on the weight loss front. But hey, I'm making progress. Huh? No, well ok yeah. Kinda like a baby. F*** I hate you and this baby talk. Now stop interrupting. I didn't get the workout in that I wanted last night but I got in some push ups and planks after I got home late. Huh? No a**hole not that kinda planking, but to tell the truth I was laid out on the floor sleep. No it wasn't in the fetal position! You keep this baby s**t up and I'm gonna take baby steps all over your neck then stick my well knitted baby blue bootie up your a**! Now goo-goo, ga-get the f*** out of my face!