Not Again

I remember when I bought my first car. With the help of my mom of course. It came after a time of great tragedy in my life. My best friend was just killed. I was supposed to be with him, but the phone was disconnected and he didn't call me back. This was before the time of caller ID and even star 69 I think. Phone calls used to just end and you'd move on with life. Except his life didn't move on. Hours later he was killed in a drive by shooting standing in front of the home of the girls we were supposed to be hanging out with that night. A thought that I always add in here is that he was my best friend but I was not his. I wasn't cool enough to be. Ha. I looked up to him for as long as I could recall. We lived across the street from each other and when my mom told me that I was going to get to go to the same private junior high with him I was loving life. He was my hero. Anywho... I bought my first car days after he was taken from us. I was mourning and excited. So much so that when I got the car I didn't realized that it did not have an air conditioner nor did it have a radio. It took a couple of days for it to sink in. Once it did I became intimately familiar with the sounds of my car as I sweated on the freeway on the long road to work. If something was wrong believe me, I'd hear it before it went super sideways. It didn't matter that I was not a mechanic. Even if I could hear it though, didn't mean I could fix it. Which brings me to today. Life on leave from work has gotten more quiet. I am listening to and feeling my body. Most of my problems as of late have been on my right side. Even if they are potentially getting better, and I am convinced they are, they hurt more. And yesterday in the quiet, I began to notice a pain that I have recently become familiar with in my left arm. So... fuck.